Childproofing: File This Under You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do
Ask any parent: the minute your baby becomes mobile is the minute you need to childproof your home. Stat. But the truth is that we don't all have the luxury or, let's be honest, the foresight to hire a professional to come into our home and make sure it's safe for our little darling. Not to mention that for many of us there is literally no store-bought contraption on earth that will stop our little Houdinis from escaping their rooms, climbing on our counters, and getting into who-knows-what. So as parents, we have to get a little creative on the childproofing front. Obviously, it's always best practice to use the proper products or hire a professional to come in and take care of any potential danger zones in your home, but these folks have hilariously demonstrated that sometimes, as a parent, you just gotta do what you gotta do.
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When your tot masters using a chair to climb on the table.
Believe me, pulling your baby off your table every minute you turn your back gets old really fast.
. . . until he learns to climb up on the turned-over chairs too.
OK baby, let's just see you try to figure this one out.
Baby gates take on a whole new meaning.
And by new, I mean bigger and wider as to cover more square footage.
Because barriers really are your first defense.
Or, if nothing else, buy you a little time.
As well as moving things to higher ground.
. . . even Christmas trees.
Ah, I still remember our Christmas tree on top of the table year.
Belting the toilet provides the babyproofing trifecta.
It keeps your baby from drowning in your toilet. It keeps your baby from flushing things down your toilet. It annoys the crap out of anyone else who's really gotta go (pun intended).
This is the first line of defense in protecting your tot's noggin.
Because, well, a helmet appears to be your only other option.
You will literally try anything to keep your baby from bumping his head.
The silver stuff can keep your kiddo out of the fireplace.
. . . and your desk drawers . . .
. . . and the water/ice dispenser on the fridge.
And when you're out of duct tape, any old tape will do.
Because babies suck at figuring out how tape works.
Case in point: when your baby figures out how to remove the plastic covers you bought.
Tape 'em on!
Tape to keep the baby off the remote.
I'm not even really sure what is going on here, yet I still totally get it.
Tape to keep the baby from changing the temp on the AC.
No more pushing Mommy's buttons, literally!
Guess what's under the bowl?
A doorbell. So, yeah, no real explanation needed on this one . . .
And when in a pinch, wooden spoons come in handy too.
Unless, you know, you love reorganizing your drawers nightly.
When the bungee cords come into play, you know you're in the thick of it.
They are twofold. They might stop your kid from climbing the table (yup, still a problem) as well as from dragging your chairs all over the house to get to other forbidden things.
Let's see you slide the chairs around the house now!
Childproofing just got real.
Let's face it: you're a heavy sleeper and your toddler likes to "cook myself din-din."
For his safety (and your sanity), you will literally try anything if it means keeping him in his room at night.
Here's a genius solution for when your kid gets into your makeup drawer.
Cracked powders and blush disasters are a thing of the past for the smart mama!
That'll stop a tot's ability to turn the light on and off.
. . . and on. And off. And on.
No one is using Mommy's good scissors.
And by no one, I mean a certain toddler who loves to cut her own hair.
When your baby loves to take down your favorite lamp.
Put a ring on it. And secure it to the wall.
And then when you get your house safe for your baby . . .
. . . it's time to make your house safe from your baby.