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Parents With Screaming Kid

Sometimes the Best Parents Are the Ones With the Screaming Kid

It's not often that I get the pleasure of shopping with just one kid, but the other day I was out at Costco with just my 2-year-old. We were zooming down the isles, and I was really in my element, thinking about how fun and easy it is to have just one baby. Suddenly our peaceful moment was ruined when we heard incredibly loud screaming. My little guy even looked worried. "Kid crying?" he asked.

We glanced down the aisle and saw The Problem. A kid who appeared also appeared to be around 2 years old was struggling to get out of the cart. He was crying and kicking and having a complete meltdown. I admit that I felt gloriously happy to have the kid who wasn't crying, but I also felt so sorry for the poor mom. She looked tired and defeated and I heard her tell the kid, "Why can't you be a good boy? Do you see these other kids? They're just sitting in their carts, minding their own business. You're the only one crying."

The mom rushed around the store, trying to ignore the tantrum, and meanwhile I had a fun little shopping date with my Little Buddy.

At the end of the day, it was time to pick up Big Sister from preschool. I unstrapped my toddler from his car seat and he reached for his milk cup. "Bring inside?" he asked.

I thought about it for a second. If he brought the cup inside, it would get all covered with preschool germs. Plus, my daughter would immediately demand milk too, and I hadn't brought any for her.

"No," I decided. "Let's just leave it here. We'll be back in just a few minutes."

At that point, my perfect little angel decided to throw a fit. He started screaming and crying and clutching that stupid milk cup. The other moms in the parking lot started to stare at me. Suddenly, I was the lady with the crying kid. I could feel myself getting hot and bothered. I was tempted to change my mind. I almost did because I really wasn't enjoying being the mom with the kid who won't stop crying. Yet I knew that I couldn't give in now, because if I did, he would learn that all he has to do is cry and I'll give in to whatever he wants. I pried the milk cup from his hands and pulled him out of his seat. I would like to say that he quit crying once he realized I wasn't giving in. I would like to say that he forgot about once he saw his Big Sister, but he didn't.

That kid cried all the way in to school, the entire time I was talking to my daughter's teacher, and all the way to the car. Other moms continued to stare at me in a judgy-compassionate way, but I held my ground. Sure, it would have been easier to give in. He would have stopped crying and pleasantly walked inside, but I taught him an important lesson that day. He doesn't get his way just because he's crying. And I learned an important lesson too. Just because a kid is pitching a fit in a store or parking lot doesn't mean that the parents don't have it under control. Sometimes the best parents are the ones with the screaming kids.

Image Source: Flickr user justkids
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JoyKnittle JoyKnittle 4 years
What upsets me the most about this article are all of the judgmental comments. Why are we as moms not being more supportive of each other, and less comparative?? Who's the better mom syndrome?? EVERY child is different and has a different temperament. While some parents may simply be able to explain their expectations to their child for obedience other children will fight tooth and nail NO MATTER what strategy is used. Let's try to all be more supportive of each other. I applaud this woman for holding her ground with her child!!
Jennifer8974 Jennifer8974 4 years
Right on Julie! I have been wanting to respond to this for two days but couldn't without really gong off on those who are so negative towards us who may occasionally give in or god forbid let a child get it out by throwing a fit in public. The horror! Thanks for saying exactly what I was thinking.
JulieBerard JulieBerard 4 years
Thank you. Why do other people/parents always seem to think that if you we're a 'good mom' your kids will NEVER misbehave?? That if your kid throws a tantrum, you are either abusive, permissive, uncaring or you completely out of control of your kids? And finally, why do so many people expect that kids are just going to accept things that are done to them that adults would never accept without frustration?? And meanwhile, kids don't have the capacity to control their emotions that we do. When I see a mom with a melt-down child, I am just grateful that that is not me *anymore*. And I feel the greatest amount of compassion for her plight. Been there done that, honey. Got the ugly t-shirt to prove it :D.
HopeBentley HopeBentley 4 years
Yea I also forgot to mention that when I was a child I threw Major melt downs, well after that my mom left with me my dad or babysitter, I was the worst child to take shopping.
HopeBentley HopeBentley 4 years
WOW glad I saw this, cause I had to melt down situation yesterday with my 4 in half y/o who did not want to come inside, Well I told her I had to go inside to our apartment cause I had to use the washroom, and I told her we would come back outside, well she would not have that, so she pitched a major fit, she was dragging her feet, so I said fine if your not going to co operate with me I will have to carry you then, she is hitting me and screaming in my ear. She lost her shoe yesterday so a gentleman in a car got my attention to let me know my daughter lost her shoe, before I could thank him he drove off, and my daughter screamed in my ear. One Lady looked like she had the look of sympathy on her face, she smiled and says Kids eh? but everyone else I felt was judging me. You always worry now a days that someone is going to call and complain or call Child protective service when your child has a melt down.
AlexisHaney93352 AlexisHaney93352 4 years
Let me just clarify... I NEVER give in to my children or bribe my children to get them to behave, and by the way my son rarely ever screams anymore.
AlexisHaney93352 AlexisHaney93352 4 years
When my son starts crying...oops! wrong word SCREAMING I just start copying whatever he does and it makes him laugh and calm down which gives me a chance to talk to him about other options that he has other than what I said no to... or depending on the situation it just gives me a chance to distract him.
anonymousanonymous anonymousanonymous 4 years
Well put! Kids need to learn that they can't always get their way. Too many kids have this entitlement attitude and it starts when they are young at home.
ElizabethAlbarran ElizabethAlbarran 4 years
I have a few friends that I can not go out with because they have kids that throw huge tantrums and then the mom gives in and gives them whatever they want. I do not want my 4 year old picking up that behavior as she is a handful as it is. My daughter will not have melt downs in public when I tell her no, but if I do not have her in a cart she likes to run away and go do her own thing. I spend my time telling her "get over here, put that down and no" it is exhausting. After awhile I have to take her to the restroom to have a little coming to jesus talk with her and let her know I am calling the shots and if she does not listen to me then we are going to go home and she will have to go to her room . It has become impossible to do anything about tantrums (aside from not giving in) out in public because as much as you want to correct the behavior the second you (lightly) pop your little one on the butt to let them know they need to get it together people are then looking at you like you are beating your child......and those are the parents who's kids are running loose in the store screaming at the top of their lungs. You just can't win.
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