Recently, I've been facing a parenting challenge — and it has nothing to do with my own kids. This school year marks the first time I've ever carpooled, and I've gone all in, sharing driving duties for both of my kids to preschool and the "parents' day out" program; to my daughter's soccer practices and Girl Scout meetings; to school functions and local kid events. For the most part, I absolutely love carpooling, but it has brought on one challenge I didn't expect: it's forced me to become more comfortable disciplining other people's children.
I have absolutely no problem laying down the law with my own kids; in fact, I've found myself in the unasked-for role of our house's main disciplinarian, while my husband somehow got to claim the job of "fun parent." But with the kids' friends and my neighbors' and friends' children, I've always happily given up the toughness and tried to be the silly mom who puts the music up loud and always brings yummy snacks along for the ride.
For the most part, it's been smooth sailing. My kids seem to enjoy seeing this softer, less rigid side of me, and I've formed some bonds with (and gotten some good intel from) the kids I occasionally drive around town. But there's one kid who's a frequent passenger in my car that just can't get his sh*t together enough to let me relax into my laid-back carpool persona.
Every single time I pick him up, he's running into parking lots, throwing things in my car, demanding specific snacks, messing with my lights and windows . . . and inspiring my son to act equally awful (not that my son needs that much persuasion to act awful). All these shenanigans have put me in the uncomfortable position of pulling out all my usual discipline tricks (stern voices, threats, and the occasional raised voice) with a kid who's not my own.
If you find yourself in a similar position, here are some basic rules for disciplining other people's kids that might help.