Recently, we celebrated my son's third birthday. We had a small but festive party at our house, complete with lots of balloons, food, and games (and an adults-only beverage station). Our family room was filled with presents that friends and family had brought our little guy, and he was thrilled both with the abundance of gifts and to be the center of attention.
Not so thrilled was his older sister, who wasn't so sure about relinquishing her usual title as our house's HBIC (that's "Head Babe in Charge," of course). "Will everyone bring me presents, too?" she asked me before the party started. No, I explained to her. It was her brother's big day, and a few months later she'd have her own special celebration for her sixth birthday. Today she was expected to be a good big sister and help her brother have the best time possible.
It took a minute for her to wrap her head around a world, however temporary, where all adult eyes weren't on her, but eventually she got it. Despite a couple of meltdowns, probably inspired by equal parts sugar and jealousy, she managed to enjoy her brother's party, even allowing him to play with all of his new toys for a few minutes before stealing them away for a turn. Hey, no one said she's perfect.
As much as parents want to treat our children equally, it's just not always possible, nor advisable to do so. Of course, there are moments when one kid has to get more attention, whether it's a birthday celebration, a special performance or sports event, or even because of an illness. And when our eyes are focused on one of our children, the others definitely notice, and jealousy and sibling rivalry can ensue. However, there are steps you can take to minimize any negative feelings or behaviors from the child who's taking the back seat.
Here are six ways to keep the peace among siblings and for your entire family.