The relationship you have with your partner can change after you have a child. This post, originally featured by our friends at Fatherly, shares five simple ways fathers can show appreciation for the mother of their child.
The following was syndicated from The Huffington Post as a part of The Daddy Diaries for The Fatherly Forum, a community of parents and influencers with insights about work, family, and life. If you'd like to join the Forum, drop us a line at TheForum@Fatherly.com.
OK fellas, let's be honest. Before you had a kid, when you first noticed an attractive woman, you probably weren't thinking, "Would she make a good mom?" That question might have arisen somewhere in the back of your medulla oblongata, but it wasn't in the top 500 things you would think about when you first felt intoxicated by her scent.
But when you become a father, if you really fall head over heels with the baby, you begin to appreciate the woman with whom you share the awesome responsibility of parenting in an entirely new light.
I watch through bleary eyes as Michelle wakes up at 90-minute intervals night after night. How rather than drag her body like a burlap sack full of marbles the way I do, she springs from the bed at Lev's slightest whimper. She holds him for hours, smiling and laughing, caressing him, with a love that is overflowing and endlessly energizes her. Yes, she gets tired, but she places Lev's needs far above her own. She never complains or suggests we leave him on someone's doorstep.
As I observe her selfless way of caring for him, I see that Lev has been teaching her what love means. I watch from the sidelines as my infant son blows Michelle's heart and mind wide open, creating new horizons of sensitivity and patience. It's like one of those dreams where suddenly the house you live in has a new room and you wander through it, exploring it with a sense of ether and amazement. He has set us both off on that dreamlike expansion of the arteries and aeries that surround the human heart.
Michelle excels as a student of love. I know she is going to get an A+ at the end of the semester, except the semester never ends. It's actually one long final exam, but that's not the point.
At least we have the same professor. He is a ruthless little pedant with unusual teaching methods. He literally sh*ts all over us, pees in our faces, and abuses us throughout the night with mysterious shouts and grunts. He regularly farts loudly in the middle of class. The homework is relentless, and he never lets us out for recess. However, neither Michelle or I has ever encountered a teacher as powerful as this little 8-pound bundle of wisdom and poo. It may be 4 a.m., but I stare at him, tiny guru, fire-starter, gnomic wizard, and I bow. I would bring him an apple, but he has no teeth.
Still, with that gummy little grin he has taught us both what love really means: to give everything of oneself happily, to forgo sleep, food, and showers without question or hesitation, simply and utterly because you are so magnetically drawn to protect and nurture another human being.
It's a lesson we're never done learning.
Speaking of lessons, here are five simple ways to show your partner you appreciate her in her new role as a mom: