From Smurfettes to Sponge Bob, there's no shortage of sexy Halloween costumes out there. But if the thought of yet another year freezing your butt off in some barely there rendition of a cartoon character or naughty fill-in-the-blank has you dreading the Oct. 31 frightfest, all hope is not lost. I've gathered together 20 of the least sexy Halloween costume ideas for all you nonconformist ladies out there. Ready to get all (not) hot and bothered? Click on!
Nothing screams "glamour" like a polygamous group costume. First you need a floral, floor-length Laura Ashley dress circa 1993. Now to just perfect the hairdo and I'm-crying-on-the-inside blank stare . . . Source: Nancy Einhart
Creepy makeup and ugly fake teeth? Check. Horrible long-sleeved, floor-length wedding dress? Check. Wedding and divorce references? Check. You're ready to freak out every guy within a 10-mile radius! And when a sexy cat, bunny, or sailor asks you "Why are you so scary?", respond with "Because it's Halloween."
Kristen Wiig's tiny-armed singer from SNL's "Lawrence Welk Show" skit is easy to re-create with an outdated bridesmaid dress, bald headcap, snaggletooth, and of course baby doll arms. (Group idea! Grab three more friends to round out the sister act.)
There's nothing more titillating than making out with a woman and her prickly facial hair, especially if her look is inspired by a freak-show performer.
Britta on Community loved her over-the-head cutesy animal costumes, and if you're also looking to challenge super-sexed-up female expectations on Halloween, you can take a cue from the character. Although some people may find it sexy . . .
Modern Family's Claire was going for a costume that harks back to a more innocent time. Just add about two yards of fabric to this costume for a grade-school-appropriate Little Bo Peep outfit.
When there are so many sultry ways to unleash your inner geek, finding the least body-conscious video-game-related costume you can is a must. Mrs. Pac-Man it is!
Just say "no" to a sexy gnome costume. All it takes for the nonslutty and hilarious version is red felt rolled into a cone shape and pinned into place, a blue sweater, black sweats, furry boots, and a Santa-like beard. Source: Lisa Pearce
A past Ugly Betty Halloween episode provided an excellent costume idea for not attracting wieners: be one! (It's also double duty if you dress as Ugly Betty in a wiener costume.)
Wear your furry kids'-TV-show-inspired costume with pride! Because they were meant to be unsexy.
This girl knows where it's at with her unsexy Halloween costumes.
Unibrows for the win!
Heidi Klum and Seal always went over-the-top with their couples costumes, but that only made their unsexiness all the more terrifying (albeit impressive). It takes real talent to make the Adam and Eve costume concept not sexy.
While you have to appreciate the Canucks team pride from How I Met Your Mother's Robin Scherbatsky, a full hockey uniform (with helmet) isn't exactly sexy . . . except maybe to hard-core fellow fans.
There's a way to do sexy dice, and then there's the way Sue from The Middle did it — awkward and bulky perfection.