Seriously . . . where'd he go? YourTango has advice for when your new boyfriend stops messaging you.
Finally, a great connection! You've never felt so in love. The colors are brighter, and the intimacy is growing in your new relationship every day. You can't stop talking about him to your friends, even when you see their eyes starting to glaze over. You can pull up that cute picture of him on your phone in two seconds flat. And then, one day, perhaps after a fantastic weekend, meeting your friends or engaging in a more serious talk about the future, the frequent texts and calls slow down or stop cold.
You panic. You wonder frantically: is it over? Why is he suddenly being cold? What did I do? Why is this happening? What a jerk!
Most likely, he's in what I call "The Pullback." I call it a pullback because, like a rubber band, the expansion of love has stretched him far out of himself and maybe even his comfort zone, and he is now pulling back into himself.
What most women do at this point, and it's probably the worst thing she can do in that frenzied state, is contact him repeatedly in a panic and/or rage. Anyone who has ever done this knows that horrible feeling of out-of-control texting, or hanging up after acting like a crazed person, replete with accusations and tears, only to be met with further silence.
The other reaction women may have is to retaliate and break up with him or punish him in another way, such as posting cryptic or hurtful social media status updates. Although there may be legitimate reasons to discontinue the relationship, breaking up in response to a pullback is usually premature. But something must be done with the intense feelings his pullback creates. Let's start with some understanding.
Occasionally a pullback is an act of mean-spirited or immature behavior, but most often, a guy will pull back as a healthy way to manage the following state of feelings:
For more advice, head to YourTango: What to Do When Aliens Abduct Your New Boyfriend
— Blair Glaser
Check out more great stories from YourTango: