Ricky Gervais Burned These Stars So Badly They Might Need Neosporin

"How on earth can a 25-year-old girl live on $52 million?" — Ribbing Jennifer Lawrence on speaking for women who don't make as much money as men in Hollywood.

"Not even Sean Penn will find me. Snitch." — Admitting that he'll run away after he hosts, and that Sean Penn won't find him, El Chapo style.

"One's a doorstop, one I use to hit burglars with, and one I keep by the bed to, well, doesn't matter. It's the right size and shape." — Confessing what he does with his three Golden Globes at home.

"I love Jeffrey Tambor. I don't know if it's because he's a great actor or because he reminds me of my Nan." — Poking fun at Tambor's role on Transparent.

"Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever." — Making a scandalous joke about Polanski's past and Spotlight.

"He's also the only person Ben Affleck has not been unfaithful to. Please welcome Matt Damon." — Taking a low blow at Affleck's personal life.

"To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels, but so was Schindler's List." — On why The Martian is classified as in the comedy or musical category.