What It Feels Like to Learn That Your Kid Is the Bully — According to 6 Anonymous Parents

By Lauren Levy

Published on 2/9/2017 at 3:10 PM

Most parents think their kids are amazing and, if not perfect, at least pretty great little people. However, according to the National Center For Educational Statistics, in 2016, more than one in every five kids reports being bullied, which means that not every child is as nice as their parents would like to believe.

As schools work to crack down on this major issue, some moms and dads have been confronted with the upsetting news that that their perception of their child is wrong. Although some may dismiss the reports, struggle to believe them, or feel at a loss for what to do, others actually feel relieved.

These six parents opened up on Reddit to reveal what it feels like during that moment you first learn that your kid is another child's bully.

  1. "I will tell you that I was strangely grateful my daughter was the bully and not the victim — but probably for a different reason than you would expect. Because she was the bully, I could correct the issue. I can't control someone else's kid when I'm not around." — peaceloveandbacon
  2. "She is USUALLY the most kind-hearted kid I know. I couldn't believe she participated in such a thing. When she got home I asked her if this girl who she drew pictures of was her friend, when she said yes. I said well do you think her mum will want to let her come over and play with you after you drew pictures of her like that? Shamefully she said no, that she wouldn't blame her for not wanting to let her. At first I thought she was upset cause she knew I'd be pissed and she would be in trouble but at the end of it I think she realised that it was not okay." — ShimmyB
  3. "I received a call from another parent when my daughter was in third grade. Apparently, she and a few other girls started a 'mean girls' club. They hung out in the bathroom at lunch and refused to let this little girl join. They also refused to let other little girls use 'their' bathroom. I called the other mums and let them know what our daughters were doing, and I also talked with my daughter about being a nice girl, who people like and respect, vs. being a mean girl who people hate and make fun of behind her back." — TinglyMcMuffin
  4. "My teenage boys were driving past an apartment building yelling at kids. They were being d*cks. I would not have known if someone hadn't posted about it in the town's Facebook page. I privately messaged the mum of the child they were shouting at. I then drove them to the building and made them apologise, in front of his parents and grandmother. They were unable to go to town without adult supervision for a few weeks. I was not amused." — Not_So_Super_Mom
  5. "My daughter is 4 and a half. Last week her teacher talked to her in front of me about spitting on a little girl. We have been having a lot of discussions about respect lately so I was really disappointed and upset." — MissTotesMaGoats
  6. "In kindergarten, my daughter's teacher approached me after school one day when I was picking her up. She said how normally my kid was helpful and fun, etc. But today she seemed distant and kicked another child during a colouring. I told the teacher that her mum and I had just separated and that I was thankful for her telling me." — TheWizardofEws