6 Reasons It's Stupid You Don't Already Know Your Neighbors

I've moved a lot in my adult life. Eight times, to be exact (no, we're not vagrants; my husband was in the Air Force and has had two civilian job transfers since he got out). From our first cramped apartment in a neighborhood where we witnessed car thefts and police shootouts from our window to Texas, Germany, and Las Vegas to our current quiet subdivision at the edge of small-town Ohio, we've lived in a wide-ranging variety of places. But each place has had one thing in common: good neighbors. And I'm pretty sure it's because wherever we've lived, we've always made it a point to be on friendly terms with them.

There are a bazillion reasons you should know your neighbors. If I were to list them all, we'd be here all day (and you and I both know that we've only got as long as it takes you to get off the toilet, am I right?). Seriously, though, when you're acquainted with the people who live around you, it's not only practical, it's valuable.

I know that if one of my kids is down the street and falls off his bike, any one of my neighbors would be willing to patch him up. If there's an emergency, they can run to any of the houses around ours for help and everyone will know them or be willing (and trustworthy) to stand in for a sitter if I had to leave the house at a moment's notice. When you know your neighbors, they're much more likely to be able to spot anything amiss or suspicious outside your house or keep an eye out while you're gone. (And less likely to be mad at you if your kid does something stupid like throws a baseball through their garage window.)

But even more importantly, neighbors can become friends. Good friends. Friends you can count on for card games and barbecues, holiday parties and casual living room get-togethers just because it's Friday evening; for finding exercise buddies and getting gardening advice and borrowing tools you're too cheap to buy. Your kids can grow up with their kids. AND THEN YOUR KIDS CAN GET MARRIED SOMEDAY AND YOU CAN BE IN-LAWS OMG.

All right, I may be getting a tad bit carried away. You don't have to be BFFs, but it truly does make a difference in your life when you know who you're living around. And unless you live in the middle of the country or on a private island somewhere, chances are you have to share your building or your parking lot or your cul-de-sac with other people, indefinitely — so the best scenario is to have a friendly (or at least civil) relationship. Sometimes, though, it's hard to know where to start. So here are some proven tips from yours truly: the most neighborly neighbor since Mr. Rogers.

When you move to an unfamiliar 'hood, don't be shy. Your new neighbors are curious about you (trust me, they've been peeking stealthily out their windows since they saw somebody moving in), so say hello! Yeah, it can feel awkward at first to talk to people you don't know, but your shared neighborhood is a perfect icebreaker. Ask them questions about the area, or about your house — after all, they've been living near it for years, in some cases. You'll learn their names and a few tidbits about your new surroundings, too. Like the fact that you may want to get that carpet deep-cleaned because the previous owner of the house had 27 cats.

Or stoop. Or garage. You get the picture: spend some time sitting out in front, even if it's just to sip a drink and watch the world go by. There's no better way to familiarize yourself with the people around you than by seeing them on a regular basis. A friendly wave may lead to a lengthier conversation. Being outside and available is a clear signal that, hey, you're willing to meet people!

Kids are a great way to get to know your neighbors. If you see a fellow parent out for a stroll or a bike ride or shooting hoops in their driveway with their kids, grab your own crumb-snatchers and say hi. Before too long, your kids will be playing happily and you'll be bonding with your neighbor. Start talking about the children, and your conversation will branch out naturally from there. But don't discount neighbors from a different walk of life — they can be just as great. Married or single, old or young, childless or bordering on "The Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe" status, it doesn't really matter. If you outwardly have nothing in common, talk about the weather! People have been doing that for so long there are cave paintings about it.

To have good neighbors, you must be a good neighbor. Keep an eye out for opportunities to help. When you're out shoveling snow off your sidewalk, shovel your neighbor's sidewalk as well. Offer to water their plants or get their mail or walk their dog while they're gone for the weekend. Don't expect anything in return, of course, but it is pretty awesome when they reciprocate, which most people tend to do. (You might get a date night, after all!)

This should go without saying, but don't do anything you wouldn't want your neighbors to do to you: playing your music at top volume while they're trying to sleep, for example, or letting your dog crap beside their front steps. Or, you know, airing out your lady bits on the couch with the curtains wide open.

When you're not the new neighbor anymore and someone else moves into your neighborhood, be the first to extend a friendly greeting. Bonus points if you bring them something. I always bring a batch of cookies (and a "Welcome" card with my name and cell phone number on it), but then, I enjoy baking. If that isn't your bag, it doesn't have to be something edible — when we moved into our current house, someone brought each of my kids a plastic cup with the name of their new school on it. They were thrilled, I was impressed, and it made us feel at home, which is the most important part.

Some neighbors may be fine with just a friendly nod and a wave when you see each other out, and some will become lifelong friends that you're close to even if one of you moves away (case in point: our old neighbors from Iowa who drive seven hours every Summer just to visit us). But even if you only get close enough to borrow a cup of sugar once in a while, getting acquainted with your neighborhood is important. Because when you do, you'll often find that your most important resources truly are the ones in your own backyard.