Becoming a mother is an incredibly strange and unique experience. One minute you're childless, wearing tight clothes and sleeping in, and the next you're trying to get a glimpse of your toes over your stomach at 38 weeks pregnant. Before you know it, there's a child screaming and waking you up in the middle of the night, but that child is also the love of your life. One mom shared this "strange dichotomy" of motherhood in her own words — feelings many moms know far too well — in a post to Facebook.
Mary Katherine Backstrom, the voice behind the Mom Babble blog, did not hold back when she explained how each day as a mother "a piece of me dies."
"My son is in his high chair and I'm cleaning the floor and dishes," she wrote. "His arm magically transforms into a windshield wiper against the tray. Waffle and oranges fly across the room. Rising up inside of me is a piece of my heart that is angry and impatient. And then I catch my son's eyes — bright and bubbling with laughter — and that angry little piece of me dies."
Mary Katherine continues to go through the little moments in her life that have so drastically changed since becoming a mother. While she initially longs for her "skinnier, more fashionable" self, she sees her son in the Target family dressing room "and that bratty, self-deprecating piece of me dies."
"When nap time arrives and I'm soaking up the beautiful, coveted silence, a piece of my mind aches at the memory of quiet independence," she explained. "But then I think of his laughter . . . and the sound of his little feet, pitter-pattering across the tiles of our family home. And that rogue little ache, that selfish piece of me, quickly dies."
She goes on to explain how being a mother has changed her every single day and makes her "a better person every day":
Motherhood has such a strange dichotomy. It is life-giving and exhausting. It constantly exercises my faith, tests my patience, and stretches my heart. But, as a result, my faith and patience are stronger. My heart is bigger. And although sometimes I still reach the end of my rope, my rope is getting longer. It's true that every day I'm a mother, a little piece of me dies. But I will not mourn these losses.