TO THE NURSE WHO HELD MY STILLBORN BABY I trudged through those steel doors of the labor and delivery unit, my legs...Posted by A Beautifully Burdened Life by Jenny Albers on Monday, October 22, 2018
On Jan. 31, 2015, Jenny Albers went into labor at 20 weeks pregnant with a baby whose heartbeat she had heard just two days prior. Guided to a delivery room by a nurse, Jenny says she knew her baby wouldn't be going home with her. She delivered her baby with tears in her eyes, which were wiped by the nurse holding her hand, a person who would end up making the "darkest night of [her] life" shine with a bit of love and compassion.
"As I lay in that lonely hospital bed, my body hollowed out by death, your words of understanding spoke to my soul. For you too had experienced the loss of a baby," Jenny wrote on her Facebook page, A Beautifully Burdened Life. "You asked if I wanted to see my baby and I said 'yes,' while admitting that I was afraid because the doctor had discouraged me from doing so. You encouraged me and acknowledged my fear, while assuring me that there was nothing to be afraid of."
The nurse returned holding Jenny's baby, "unfazed by the appearance of a tiny being born 20 weeks too soon." She told Jenny that her baby was beautiful and stroked the little one tenderly before placing the baby in Jenny's arms. Jenny wrote:
You told me that my baby's early death did not take away from the importance of his life. Your words were authentic, but it was the look in your eyes that validated this important truth. You treated my baby like a human being and you treated me with compassion as I had unwillingly become a bereaved mother.
Your love and compassion shined brightly during the darkest night of my life. You acknowledged my pain along with the beauty of my baby's short life. My heart had broken the minute my baby's had stopped beating. And as you held my baby, you also held my heart.
And now, I hold you in my heart. For I will never forget how you handled the two of us with such care.
Although this night was nearly four years ago, Jenny continues to repost and share her letter to this wonderful nurse to say thank you and to create more awareness around infant loss. "I'm certain that I said 'Thank you' before I walked out of that hospital room," Jenny ended her post. "But I wanted to say it again. Thank you."