The 20 Stages of Taking Your Kid Shopping With You, in GIFs
The phrase "run a quick errand" really doesn't exist anymore once you've had a kid — you can't just leave them behind, but it takes 10 times as long to run that errand if they're with you. If you're a mama, you know the struggle that is walking into any type of store with your kid — Target, the grocery store, CVS. No matter how few items you need to grab, chances are you're coming out of that store having bribed your child in order to make your life easier, and your level of sanity has likely gone down.
If you've ever taken a child shopping with you, you'll definitely be familiar with these 20 brutal stages of going to the store with a kiddo in tow.
You realize you need something at the store and decide taking your child will be fine.
I mean, not much can go wrong, right?
After packing up the car with all the stuff your kids need in order to leave the house for more than two minutes, you’re off.
Let's do this.
You unpack the car, get your kid into the cart, and enter the store with confidence.
Easy breezy. All is fine.
You begin to consult your shopping list and maneuver your child around the store.
You’re a woman on a mission.
You last about a minute before your child gets into one of the displays and grabs something.
“Mommy, I want one!”
You talk your child down and ask them to behave — this will only be a quick trip.
You’re raising a rational child, so this information should sit well with them.
Your kid throws his first tantrum right there in the middle of the store.
You ignore him because attention will only make it worse.
After a few embarrassing seconds of screaming, you tell your child he can hold the toy just until you're finished shopping.
He seems pleased and you feel like you have this whole parenting thing under control.
You do your best to zip in and out of the aisles while your child is entertained, grabbing what you need as fast as possible.
You are superwoman and you’re doing great.
Your child sees another child in the store eating a snack and freaks out.
And of course, nothing you’ve packed in the way of snacks is what your kiddo wants, because why should that ever work out in your favor?
Your child is having meltdown number two, and you remind them to use their inside voice so that you can talk this out calmly.
To no avail, obviously.
You try to keep your cool, but you’re starting to freak out.
You just needed a few things and now you’re on an emotional roller coaster!
You finally get your child to calm down with some sort of food and they sit in silence for a minute while they eat their snack.
But you know now that you can’t take the silence for granted.
After managing to pick up the rest of the things you needed in peace, you get on the shortest register line you can find.
"Thirteen people in front of me, seriously?"
Your kid whips out the toy they wanted before, and you have to finally tell them they can’t have it.
Cue the waterworks (again).
You finally get to the end of the line and start to pay for your things while your child remains inconsolable.
You'd think the world was ending.
People are starting to stare, and you’re starting to panic.
You wish that people would stop judging your parenting skills in this moment of weakness.
At this point you just want to get yourself out of the store so you decide to buy the toy and justify your reasoning later.
Home is a judgment-free zone. You just need to get there.
You get yourself out of the store as fast as possible and get your (now silent) child back into the car.
You promise yourself you’re never doing that again.