Dear Husband, We're About to Become Parents, and This Is What I Want You to Know

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Leigh Ann Orsen
Leigh Ann Orsen

Dear John,

I know you've always hated it when people (no matter how well-meaning they may be) tell you that having a baby is going to change your life (because, duh), but, ironically, that's the first thing I wanted to say to you when I started writing this letter. Our lives are about to change in the biggest way. You say you know, but I'm not sure either of us truly understands the extent of what we're about to do or what we're about to become: parents. We may not know entirely until our sweet little one is screaming bloody murder as we look at each other and have our moment of mutual understanding of, "Oh, this is what they meant." So, before all the screaming and diaper-changing begins, I wanted to write this letter to remind us of this bliss I feel right now.

When I look at you every day, I'm reminded of the man I met in college. I still feel that same, thought-consuming attraction to you all of these years later. I feel it most when I get to watch you from a distance be entirely in your element. Watching you fulfill dreams you didn't even know you had in college — dreams we built together along the way — has created a love far more profound than I could have imagined. Sure, I lucked out — you're insanely handsome, incredibly driven, and immensely funny — but building this life with you entirely on our terms is what I believe continues to fuel my attraction.

I look at you and see so much of what I hope our baby will be. I hope our child will be intrinsically motivated the way you are. I hope they will find their passion and go for it, even if there's no safety net. I hope they will be as considerate and intuitive in relationships as you are. I hope they will love the outdoors the way you do. I hope they get your perfect nose and deep brown eyes. I hope they end up with your athletic genes if for no other reason than to avoid the embarrassment of looking like me when I run. But above all, I hope our child will carry kindness with them in all of their actions the way that you do every day.

One thing I know for sure in all of this is that our child will be so lucky to have you as a father, as I am to have you as a partner.

Listen, I've seen marriages crumble under the sort of pressure parenting can induce. I watch as once head-over-heels-in-love couples lose themselves in the chaos. I can't promise there won't be days when we lose us in the mess of it all. In fact, I know we will. But what I can guarantee is that I'll always do my best to remember us at our best. I will use our memories, built over the course of 11 years, to get me through the days I'll undoubtedly dislike you. We will always find our way back to each other if we can keep our memories close to our hearts, and maybe a cocktail or two in hand.

Yes, our world is about to change. But you've changed my life since the day I met you, and I'm so thankful we get to go on this ride together.

With love today and always,
Your Wife