23 Lies All Parents Tell Themselves

Telling yourself a few little lies can help you get through a tough day. As parents, though, we tend to rely a bit more heavily on the concept of the little white lie, because let's be honest: if we didn't, we'd all go crazy.

If you're a parent, I'm guessing you've told yourself the following 23 lies at least once — maybe just this week.

  1. It's just a phase.
  2. I'm not tired.
  3. Kids don't need to bathe every day.
  4. Or every other day.
  5. Come to think of it, I don't need to shower either.
  6. I'm not going to eat the leftover macaroni and cheese straight from the pot.
  7. I'm not going to eat all of the leftover macaroni and cheese straight from the pot.
New Line Cinema
  1. Ketchup is a vegetable.
  2. So are pickles.
  3. There's no need to clean the house, because it'll just get destroyed again.
  4. He'll eventually stop thinking poop jokes are funny.
  5. And won't ask about private parts in public.
  6. I'm going to find a way to add vegetables to every meal.
  7. I am not buying this expensive outfit she's going to grow out of tomorrow just to take a cute Instagram photo.
  8. I'm going to make a scrapbook out of these hundreds of baby photos taking up my phone storage.
  1. We're going to wake up, get ready for school, and leave the house on time tomorrow morning.
  2. Screen time is OK if I need to get something done.
  3. Calcium builds strong bones, so cheese as 90 percent of my kid's diet is totally fine.
  4. No one will remember that I wore this outfit to school drop-off yesterday.
  5. I'm just going to close my eyes for a minute.
  6. I don't need to go to the gym if I'm chasing kids around all day.
  7. I'm the boss.
  8. It's never too early for a glass of wine.
Comedy Central