After Suffering a Miscarriage, a Photographer Is Helping Women Remember the Babies They Lost

By Perri Konecky
Junebug Photography

Nikita Razo is a birth and family photographer, and in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, she decided to take on a project that would help women tell their stories of miscarriage and stillbirth, something that is very close to her heart. In November of 2012, she found out that she had suffered a miscarriage during her 12-week check-up, and now she's helping women who have endured the same pain share their stories. Nikita used the Facebook community and her network to bring together a group of six women for a photo shoot in which the women posed with white balloons to represent the number of babies they lost.

"Pregnancy and infant loss isn't something that should be met with embarrassment, guilt, or shame but rather acceptance, love, and support. From our families; from our friends; and most importantly from ourselves and others around the world who have been through the same roller coaster of emotions that come with such a heartbreaking tragedy," Nikita wrote on Facebook alongside the photos of the women and their emotional experiences. "Together, we can make a change. Because the last thing I want is for a woman to feel like she has to go through this journey alone."

Keep reading to see the photos of each woman and read their stories. Please note, the excerpts have been shortened for this story. Read the stories in full here.

"On July 14, 2011 I noticed I hadn't felt baby move in an hour so I called my OB. She advised me to drink cold orange juice and head to the hospital for a check up. What followed after no one could prepare me for. They couldn't find a heartbeat. I was almost 7 months pregnant . . . They needed to induce labor. I ended up going through labor and delivery without any medications to give birth to a daughter I knew I could never bring home with me. I held her in my arms before they took her away . . . It was and still is the most heartbreaking moment of my life. I can't explain the unbearable pain I felt that day . . . 6 months later I also miscarried twins. I can't put into words how devastating life is after each loss, but I want others to know they're not alone in this." — Kay Thornton

"Five months after that I found I was pregnant again. My husband and I kept the secret but then I started bleeding at work. Once again I was losing my baby. When you lose a baby you feel empty, not only physically but emotionally as well. You feel that your dreams were taken away, that all the plans you had are now gone and you spend the rest of your life thinking how it would have been. My life changed, at the beginning it was hard for me to accept what happened, but after all this time God has given me peace. My heart hurts every time I know someone who went or is going through the same thing because you know the pain they feel and that there are no words that you can say to them that will make them feel better . . . Today I'm able to hold my rainbow baby, and I cherish every moment with my two girls. My babies will always be in my heart and I know that someday I'll be able to meet them." — Keyla Alicea Díaz

"The only advice I can give to people surrounding someone who has experienced loss, is to just listen. Every pregnancy/infant loss is different and it scars people in different ways. Although your advice may be well intentioned, it can be especially hurtful to someone who has been in the position of losing a baby . . . hopes . . . dreams . . . wishes . . . etc. I can't ask you to understand my pain but I can ask that you carry me in your heart. I do not want your advice or even your sympathy, what I want is that you understand that my heart is broken and will probably always be that way. A hug and a listening ear goes far beyond what any words can." — Kelly McDonnell

"While these days it is much more common to talk about miscarriage and pregnancy loss, it is still an incredibly difficult subject to talk about personally, especially once you move into the realm of multiple losses and no children at home. While I miss my babies every single day, I worry about talking about it too much . . . I'm still left waiting with empty arms, knowing that the babies that have grown under my heart will never be in my arms. I'm left standing alone, as 1 in 4, a club I never wanted membership in to." — Jennifer Merkley

"The loss of a child is extremely painful even if that loss happens 2 months into your pregnancy. The journey is not easy and some words that are meant to be encouraging can sometimes make the journey a little harder or more painful. If you meet someone who has experienced a miscarriage or pregnancy loss remember to listen, show them love and be supportive" — Tasha Jackson-Schultz

"We went home heartbroken and had to figure out how to tell our family and friends. Over the next 3 years there were more miscarriages, more phone calls, more appointments, more prayers and sadly less support. Finally I got pregnant and made it to 36 weeks. Upon arriving at the hospital for some monitoring before induction I learned that our son had passed away the night before. I delivered a 9lb 22inch boy on March 6, 2009 while my husband was fighting in Iraq. Again, we grieved and to our surprise started to be judged. . . We suffered another 2 miscarriages before being blessed with the opportunity to adopt a baby born just for us!" — Jesica Beal Ogden