11 Hilarious Things That Happen When My Husband Has a Cold or Flu

Updated on 12/11/2018 at 4:50 PM

In my house, the "man flu" is a very real thing, aka a regular cold mixed with hilarious amounts of please-take-care-of-me-and-feel-so-sorry-for-me dramatics. And if the man in your life is anything like my husband when he gets a cold, you know the struggle. They need constant attention and care, they're vocal about their concerns about not pulling through, and any ache or pain is a reason to stay in bed. And you? You probably have a massive to-do list and don't stay in bed unless you're on your actual deathbed.

If you're lucky, they'll come out of it alive (REALLY close call with that mild cough there, babe). When my husband gets a cold, I can count on him being out of work for at least a few days. When he finally goes back, it's slow moving for a while ("don't want to push it too hard and get sick again"). If this sounds all too familiar, then keep reading for 11 things that happen when your man gets the flu, and prepare to LOL.

It Escalates Quickly

Expect for him to go straight from feeling a little under the weather to bedridden. What starts with a couple of sniffles will escalate to the man flu pretty quickly.

The Pain Is Unbearable

Talk about sore muscles! You could never imagine the way his muscles ache from the everyday cold.

The Dramatic Moans Begin

You can hear them loud and clear from the other side of the house. The moans, groans, and whining are a symphony of drama.

He'll Swear He's Burning Up

If you have to check if he has a fever one more time, you might go insane. When my husband has a cold, he'll most likely insist he's burning up in the very dangerous temperature zone, but that thermometer will read a perfect 98.6 every time!

His Speaking Ability Gets Compromised

The raspy voice sets in early on and will progress rapidly. Hopefully he can tell you he loves you before he loses his inability to speak completely.

The Nose Gets Extra Sensitive

All that nose blowing is sure to irritate his delicate skin. Make sure you get him the soft tissues. Try to find the ones with moisturizing lotion or his nose might just fall off!

The Demands Multiply

Sick husbands are massively needy. He can't reach the remote that's two feet away from him, and he will decide he does want that soup after you've finally sat down on the couch. Don't you dare give him a bell to ring, because he's sure to overuse it!

I'll Blow My Paycheck at the Drugstore

Cough drops, tissues, daytime and nighttime cold medicine, nose spray, and a thermometer only scratch the surface of the list he'll give you when you go to the drugstore. Don't forget the chicken soup and Gatorade, too!

Paralysis May Set In

At some point, muscle aches may turn to paralysis. He'll say, "Ugh, I can't move," when you encourage him to get his blood flowing again by walking from the couch or bed to the bathroom.

He'll Insist He's Dying

As if the dramatization hasn't been enough at this point, at the height of the cold, he'll swear he's dying. But you'll be surprised how quickly he comes to life when his best friend calls.

There Will Be a Competition

If you had a cold before his set in, your husband is sure to give you a bullet-point list of why his is MUCH worse. If you get sick while he's battling his own cold, he'll accuse you of stealing his thunder. Expect a competition, but don't expect to win.