67 Things All Parents Say

Growing up, every child thinks they're going to be different than their parents were . . . until they become a parent themselves. Nobody is quite sure how it happens, but somehow, everybody inevitably becomes just like their own mom or dad (or both!), and as it turns out, that means basically every single parent seems to say the same sorts of things to their kids. It's like a secret language implanted in your brain as soon as your child is born.

Read through for 67 things that all parents say.

  1. I'm going to count to three.
  2. 1 . . . 2 . . . DON'T make me finish counting!
  3. Turn the TV off now.
  4. I said turn the TV off.
  5. Because I said so.
  6. What did you say?
  7. OK, go into timeout.
  8. Get back into timeout!
  9. I'm serious, you're still in a timeout!
  10. We don't play with our food.
  11. Use your words.
  12. Do you need to go potty?
  13. Pull your pants up.
  14. Don't put your finger in there — or your tongue!
  15. I'm not kidding.
  16. What did I just say?
  1. Please don't pull Mommy's hair.
  2. Don't make me turn this car around.
  3. I didn't hear a flush.
  4. Go ask Dad.
  5. Go ask Mom.
  6. I would have said yes, but Mom said no . . .
  7. I would have said yes, but Dad said no . . .
  8. Let me get that booger out of your nose.
  9. Is that poop?
  10. Don't eat that off the floor.
  11. Clean up these Legos.
  12. Didn't I ask you to clean those Legos?
  13. Ouch! What did I say about the Legos?!
  14. Don't run in the parking lot.
  15. Where are your shoes?
  16. What do you mean you can't find your shoes?
  17. Did you even look for them?
  1. We only pee in toilets.
  2. Aw, did you get a boo-boo from the table?
  3. Bad table!
  4. I put the table in timeout.
  5. No running inside!
  6. What do you mean you don't like it?
  7. You haven't even tried it.
  8. Just try it.
  9. I'll give you dessert if you try it.
  10. OK, fine! Don't eat it, I don't care.
  11. I am talking to a wall.
  12. Did you brush your teeth?
  13. Let me smell your breath.
  14. Go brush your teeth!
  15. No, we're not there yet.
  16. I just said we're not there yet!
  1. Close the door, we don't live in a barn!
  2. Don't touch that!
  3. I'm not a cleaning lady, I'm your mother.
  4. Don't make me come in there!
  5. What did I say about playing with balls in the house?
  6. How many times do I have to ask?
  7. I don't care if he started it, I asked you to stop!
  8. Say you're sorry.
  9. I'm not going to ask you again.
  10. We'll see.
  11. I said maybe.
  12. If you ask again, the answer is no.
  13. Give Mommy one minute.
  14. Don't run near the road.
  15. Stop putting things up your nose.
  16. I don't care if Dad said yes.
  17. I don't care if Mom said yes.
  18. Because you have to.