The 9 Stages You Go Through When Your Kid Discovers Santa Isn't Real

Published on Dec 15, 2016 at 1:41 PM

There will come a time in every child's life when they begin to question the reality of Santa Claus. Regardless of how they're initially tipped off, the moments and days that follow their curious revelation may be difficult. Based on your child's age and disposition, some will be looking for the straight facts, while others will simply want reassurance that they can still believe in the jolly man who brings them gifts.

Either way, this chat is bound to happen at some point. These are the nine stages you will go through when your child finds out the truth about Santa, just like all the parents before you, the parents in there trenches with you now, and all the ones who will hear the dreaded three words "Is Santa real?" in the future.

Merry Christmas and good luck.

Your child is tipped off in some way about the reality of Saint Nick and approaches you for more information.

If a classmate told him, you vow to have a talk with that child’s mother — the nerve!

You panic, wondering if your child is (but also if you are) ready for this conversation.

And if you’re ready to cease having Santa in your back pocket as a behavioral tool (you can say goodbye to the Elf on the Shelf, too).

You have a quick back and forth with yourself about the pros and cons of destroying your child’s innocence.

To tell them I’m Santa or not to tell them, that is the question.

You begin what's sure to be a clulmsy explanation with a disclaimer: the magic of Christmas is about so much more than Santa.

At this point, the savvy children will guess that the jig is up.

Finally you quit beating around the bush to announce that no, Santa isn’t (necessarily) real.

Cue the pint-size shock-horror.

Based on their reaction, you will either face an angry kid who is upset you lied to them or a kid completely heartbroken.

Either way, you’ve got yourself in quite a pickle here and are likely trying to figure out a way to magically disappear on the spot.

You struggle to field the relentless questions that follow, which are posed through tears (yours, probably).

“Why did you lie?” “Why isn’t he real?” “Where do the presents come from?” “Do my friends know about this?” “WHAT GIVES, MOM?!”

You try to salvage the situation by informing them of ways they can help to keep the magic of Christmas alive for everyone else.

The magic isn’t dead, kid, you can still “play Santa” like adults do (pose it like a secret club — kids love secret clubs!).

After the conversation, you devote yourself to prayer, hoping that they won’t ruin Santa for their younger siblings and cousins.

Because that would make the coming holiday even more hellish than having this conversation was.