9 Famous Women Who'd Make the Best BFFs

She cooks, she’s funny, she’s a mom of three and her husband is quite possibly the greatest living comedian. I’ve been following (read: stalking) her on all her social media channels for years. You can just tell that she’s genuine, loves her friends (thinking of you Ali Wentworth and Gwyneth Paltrow) and has a great balance of the fancy celebrity life and sweatpant-clad TV and reading nights. Jess – I live in your hometown. Call me! And if you don’t feel like whipping up something from one of your awesome cookbooks, don’t worry. We can order in.

Everyone loves the gal with the filthy mouth, don’t they? Well I’m no exception. Amy Schumer says what I’m thinking most of the time and I could use a mouthpiece as cool and fearless as Amy. Apparently in high school she was voted “Teacher’s Worst Nightmare.” She and I are the same age, we’re both Jewish, and are from the tri-state area. With all these similarities, it’s shocking we aren’t already best friends, right? Counting the days until Trainwreck hits theaters.

I don’t need any more friends that claim to love salad or that swear the juice they’re “cleansing” with actually tastes good. I want friends that admit food is amazing, we only live once, and damn it eating a hamburger is not a crime. Enter Mindy Kaling, my girl crush. She’s beautiful. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s smart (went to Dartmouth people – that’s Ivy League!) and she voiced Inside Out which kept my kids from bothering me for a full two hours (this is a record). With Mindy, you get the feeling a girl’s night would involve amazing food, pajamas (she wore PJs to work to celebrate her birthday), and a lot of couch potato action.

Disclaimer: I actually know Jill Kargman and can’t think of anyone with a quicker mind than this brilliant lady. Her brain works faster than anyone else I know and she is killing it on Bravo’s Odd Mom Out. Jill has written New York Times best-selling novels and a cuss-filled, hilarious memoir, was the original queen of the “beach read,” and now has proven her acting chops. Her sister-in-law is Drew Barrymore, so there’s that ridiculous added bonus of being in Jill’s inner circle. Imagine snagging an invite to that Thanksgiving dinner.

Tina and Amy present a classic Sophie’s Choice and so I have no other option but to fantasize about what it would be like if I could be the third best friend to Tiny and Amy. I really wouldn’t mind being the only non-famous, non-talented one in this trio, just so long as I could breathe the same air as these women. You think Cooper Manning complains when he gets the royal treatment in the company of brothers Eli and Peyton? Doubtful. Tina Fey is a producer, a writer, an actress, a mom of two, AND she’s married to someone shorter than her – which just proves she’s not shallow. Amy is all of those things (minus the short husband) and while she did break my heart just a little when she and Will Arnett divorced, I’m glad she’s found love again with the hilarious Nick Kroll. Amy and Tina – admit it – you’re a bit sick of each other and would love a third person in the mix to spice things up.

I’ve been thinking about what my nickname would have been if Taylor had cast me in the Bad Blood video. I’m a writer so I think “Bookie” would have been perfect. Taylor would make the ultimate best friend. She clearly values female friendships, loves to be around other successful women (Karlie Kloss, Lena Dunham, Selena Gomez), takes roadtrips and has sleepovers with her pals. Do you think they play Girl Talk? I like to think so. But the best part? She always has a new boyfriend…and… he’s always famous. Can you imagine the gossip sessions with TS? I can just hear it in my head: “John was so clingy but at least he didn’t send back the wine like Harry did.”

Besides the obvious – the invitations to the Palace, tea with the Queen, potential alone time with Prince Harry, and the endless opportunities to wear hats, my main motivation for befriending Kate is access to her impeccable wardrobe. Besides the nude tights thing, which I’ve decided to forgive as a British thing, Kate the Great always nails it. She’s got the high-low thing down better than any other famous person and if I lost maybe eight pounds (it’s doable!) I think I could fit into her things.

I had to put this one last because I think if it was the top of my list, many of you would have stopped reading. But there is just something about the wide-eyed madness of this Real Housewife of New York that I find so endearing. I would totally have Pinot Grigio with Ramona any day of the week, or play tennis, or discuss Botox, or Mario’s cheating ways or anything else. And Ramona – I would have loved to room with you in Turks & Caicos.