The 14 Stages of Emotion You Go Through When You Find Out Your Ex Is Engaged

Updated on 6/5/2016 at 2:50 PM

Life as a 20-something is difficult enough without the torture that is scrolling through social media on a Sunday night and being assaulted with what seems like hundreds of fresh engagements. Usually you take a quick peek at the ring, text any relevant friends with a screen grab and an "ugh," and get on with your idle social media-ing. That is, until you scroll through to one of those photos and it's your ex's smiling face staring back at you, clutching an equally happy person with a rock on their finger — that's when sh*t gets real.

This is not a drill — these are the 14 stages of emotion that occur upon finding out your ex is engaged.

You take a moment to process the clichéd caption and photo of the ring.

You tell yourself the ring isn't your taste anyway and that their cheesy grins don't bother you.

Then you get sad for a minute, because no matter your relationship status now, this was someone you spent some good times with.

But also probably a ton of bad times, hence the "ex" status. (But ugh, you wanted to be the one with good news to share on social media first.)

You convince yourself you're happy for them.

Hey, maybe you'll even send a card to congratulate the happy couple!

You imagine what your friends would say if they thought you were serious.

You'd assure them you aren't serious about sending a card, it's just a joke . . . no need for an intervention (dammit, you were kind of serious though, weren't you?).

You evaluate your life post-breakup and pick everything apart until you can convince yourself you're happier than them.

You totally are. You're a rock star. Forget them and their shiny rings and cheesy grins.

You start to cry for no apparent reason.

OK, maybe you just need to get a few tears out — no matter how things ended between you two, this is still a shock.

You decide that during the surprise tear-fest is the best time to go through old photos of the two of you.

You idiot, stop that.

While you're looking through the photos, you remember one of your epic fights with them.

Which probably started over something super petty like leaving hair on the soap or never doing dishes, then transitioned into your deeper issues as a couple.

You laugh at how right you were in your stance during that fight.

That was stupid, they were stupid, and it completely brought to light your need to move on with your life . . . without them in it.

You start to feel better about this whole thing.

You're a confident, attractive, successful person without them (maybe you even have someone a million times better than them now). Go you!

You pop some Champagne to toast your amazing life without the toxicity that was your past relationship.

Cheers!

You take a minute to marvel in your vast emotional capabilities at a time like this.

You are a badass adult who can handle it all.

People start texting you as the photo comes up in their feeds to check in and say, "I just saw, are you OK?"

And you know what, when you really think about it, you totally are.

You decide to look one more time at their photo and tap your glass to their happy faces on the screen.

And you silently wish the odds be ever in their favor when one of them starts leaving hairs on the soap or piles of dishes in the sink.