How to Talk About Wedding Plans With Single Friends
What Your Single Friends Really Think of Your Wedding Plans
As you plan for your big day, you will probably enlist many of your friends to help. While your single friends will love to celebrate this big occasion with you, they may not need every detail. Brides writer Jillian Kramer found five single women who shared the do's and don'ts of talking about your engagement.
Chances are, you have at least one friend who's still single — and while she's willing and able to celebrate in your engagement and wedding, there are just certain things she doesn't want you to do. We went to five single women who dished on the don'ts of being engaged.
Don't share every single teeny-tiny wedding detail with your friends.
They likely won't have an opinion on the color of your cocktail napkins. "One night, my engaged friend brought over fabric swatches and asked me if she should choose the 'artichoke' or 'asparagus' color for her tablecloths," says one single woman. "Not only could I have cared less, but the conversation just made me hungry!"
Don't apologize because you think you've offended your friend's single-gal status.
"I was happy to listen to my friend's wedding plans and hear about how happy she was — until she made a point of mentioning that 'all this wedding talk' probably made me feel even more alone," another source says. "Well, after that it certainly did. I know she was trying to be considerate of my feelings because she knew I wanted to be in a serious relationship, but the comment just made me feel worse."
Don't inundate your friends and wedding party with constant updates.
Stick to group email blasts with information that pertains to your bridesmaids and groomsmen, and nothing else. "A friend texted me every time she made an appointment, whether I needed to be there or not," says one woman. "Within a few months, I was so confused. Was I coming to the cake tasting, or did she just want me to know she'd be there?"
Don't forget that you had a life before you got engaged.
"After [she] got engaged, that was almost all she could talk about," says a single friend. "If we went out for happy hour, we didn't talk about work or how we'd spent our weekends — it was how many weeks were left until the wedding and what flowers her florist had suggested. It got boring after awhile, and I stopped asking her to hang out."
Don't be an over-eager wing woman.
"This guy came up to us at a bar and started to talk to both of us," says another single girl. "I wasn't really into him, but my friend decided to announce that while she was engaged, I was single. I wanted to die of embarrassment, and I was stuck talking to him after that." Avoid the urge to hook-up your friends just because you're happily coupled.
— Jillian Kramer
Check out more great stories from Brides:
- The Six Biggest Etiquette Mistakes Brides Make
- How Not to Alienate Your Single Friends While Engaged
- How Do I Coordinate My Bridesmaids and Groomsmen?
- Three Ways to Make Sure Your Bridesmaids Won't Hate You