Good news for anyone who loves orgasms (aka everyone): masturbating is actually good for your health. So what's the key to a great solo session? Dr. Fran Walfish — Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author of The Self-Aware Parent, and costar on We TV's Sex Box — has expert insight on how to make masturbating the best that it can be.
- Practice, practice, practice. The more you familiarize yourself with the genital pleasure that feels good to you, the better able you are to communicate those specifics to your sexual partner.
- Invite your fantasies in. Engage your rich fantasy life by thinking exciting thoughts and visualizing erotic pictures while you are with your lover, but keep those thoughts private. Once you share them, you risk eliciting rivalry, jealousies, hurt, and anger. Thoughts and fantasies are useful aphrodisiacs and harmless when not acted out. Things get sticky and tricky when fantasies are put into action in real life.
- Hone your communication skills. The more clear, specific, and direct you are in your verbal communication has a correlation to your freedom in masturbatory exploration.
- Let go of preconceived judgments. Many people, especially women, still believe it's bad or evil to masturbate. It simply isn't. Those archaic beliefs and ideas only inhibit, constrict, and limit one's ability to enjoy their own body and sexuality. Abandon stifling messages you may have gotten from your parents and families of origin. Free yourselves to enjoy one of three inherent human needs — food, sleep, and sex!