Sending Taylor Swift 1989 Lyrics on Tinder
13 Things That Happen When You Send Taylor Swift Lyrics to Your Tinder Matches
Tinder is a battlefield.
Swipe left or swipe right, and within seconds you can find yourself connected to your crush of the week, or a "nightmare dressed like a daydream."
Or worse. A ghost, aka matches that never message you first. It's a Tinder epidemic, since guys do essentially swipe right "at everything," it could take hours, days, months for Mike, 27 to shoot you a "hey" or "sup," (tragic, I know).
As a hopeless romantic, I decided to make the first move, with a little help from fellow hopeless romantic, Taylor Swift. By making the first move, I mean only quoting lyrics from her 1989 album. Every single track, one match at a time.
The idea came to me one night as I was swiping while listening to "Blank Space." Suddenly it all made sense. "Oh my God, look at that face, you look like my next mistake." Isn't that essentially what goes through your head when you match with someone?
My therapist has been urging me to be more honest when it comes to dating. So what better way to "be me," than to be Taylor Swift? After all, I really relate to her.
And before you call me a "tease" or a "terrible person," realize this: People constantly lie on Tinder. And if you can't beat them, join them. These lyrics aren't lies, rather a filter. If a guy can take a joke, or better yet recognize the lyrics, then he's less likely to be a serial killer.
So, without further ado, in order of the album's tracks, here's what happens when you only send the lyrics to Taylor Swift's 1989 to your Tinder matches, one match at a time. Reactions range from fear and excitement to thinking that I have a drinking problem.
1 "Welcome to New York": You learn you are not qualified to be on an imaginary talk show.
2 "Blank Space": You're coming off a little offensive . . .
3 "Style": You're coming on too strong.
4 "Out of the Woods": Do you have a drinking problem?
5 "All You Had to Do Was Stay": He can handle me at my worst!
6 "Shake It Off": That's what people say!
7 "I Wish You Would": Goodbye my almost lover.
8 "Bad Blood": You are scaring me . . .
9 "Wildest Dreams": Will not commute for a Tinder date.
10 "How to Get the Girl": He's just playing hard to get . . .
11 "This Love": You will meet a masochist.
12 "I Know Places": You will find true love . . . 12 tracks later.
13 "Clean": You get a rude awakening that this is Tinder, and boys will be boys!
