Overpartying, revenge sex, and self-isolation are just some of the unhealthy ways to go about a breakup. When you're at your lowest, you stop caring about what's good or bad for you and allow yourself to fall into destructive behavior. And according to Elle Huerta, CEO and founder of breakup app Mend, there's one thing above all you should never do postbreakup.
"I think there are so many breakup vices, and we've all been victims of them; drinking too much or partying or just kind of avoiding your feelings and emotions," Elle told us. "But I think one of the worst things is having really negative self-talk."
She continued to explain how the absence of self-love and compassion is one of the most common results of a breakup.
"A breakup does not mean that you are unlovable or fatally flawed."
"A breakup does not mean that you are unlovable or fatally flawed," she said. "It's a really unhealthy thing to believe about yourself, and it's also very untrue. I definitely think some of the external vices are destructive, but I think some of the self-talk that we engage in after a breakup can be even more destructive."
We tend to forget the impact the conversations we have with ourselves can have on our psyche. Self-love is always a critical habit to maintain, but even more so when we're in such a vulnerable state like the end of a relationship. We need to take care of ourselves holistically in terms of our bodies, mental health, and emotional state.
Social media can also be such a toxic part of that healing process, so Elle suggests taking a break for a short period of time following your breakup. You won't feel better seeing your ex's photos in your feed and you'll most likely be tempted to see what they're up to at all times. But because social media is so ingrained in our daily lives, Elle also understands that completely unplugging is not a realistic option for most.
"I just recommend that people take time to carefully consider who they're following and who they're not following," she said. "Make sure that you're not following your ex but that you're following sources that are very inspirational — people and accounts that make you feel good."
Just as you wouldn't surround yourself with bad company IRL, apply that same attitude on screen. And don't forget to be kind to yourself.