This Is Why You Should Be a Country Music Fan

Depending on where your musical allegiances lie, you may or may not know that once all the grass has been thoroughly ripped up from two rowdy weekends in Coachella Valley, a very dusty, very country music festival takes place at the same Empire Polo Club in Indio, CA. I know, because I just attended it for the sixth year this past weekend. I clearly love the genre, but if you're having a hard time warming up to songs about boots and honky-tonks, I'd like to introduce you to the sexy side of country music with a purely physical recap of this year's Stagecoach Music Festival. And remember: Save a horse. Ride a cowboy.

Because Eric Church looks like this.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Because Eric Church looks like this.

And when he gets all serious playing the guitar, he looks like this.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And when he gets all serious playing the guitar, he looks like this.

And his butt in those tight jeans.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And his butt in those tight jeans.

And even when he looks kinda mad, he's like really, really hot.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And even when he looks kinda mad, he's like really, really hot.

But he's also got a fun side!
Getty | Christopher Polk

But he's also got a fun side!

Because Hunter Hayes is like a sexy baby country version of Justin Bieber.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Because Hunter Hayes is like a sexy baby country version of Justin Bieber.

And you get really confused, because you're like, he's a baby! (He's 22.)
Getty | Kevin Winter

And you get really confused, because you're like, he's a baby! (He's 22.)

And he plays the drums and has that cute hair-flip thing.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And he plays the drums and has that cute hair-flip thing.

And that face . . .
Getty | Kevin Winter

And that face . . .

Oh, and he's actually really talented.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Oh, and he's actually really talented.

Because Luke Bryan literally just made me pass out.
Getty | Jerod Harris

Because Luke Bryan literally just made me pass out.

And he gets superserious, and I die.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And he gets superserious, and I die.

And then we get a tiny peek at his stomach and die again.
Getty | Christopher Polk

And then we get a tiny peek at his stomach and die again.

Did I mention he has charisma oozing from his pores?
Getty | Christopher Polk

Did I mention he has charisma oozing from his pores?

And that sly little grin.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And that sly little grin.

And when he flexes his biceps, a thousand angels sing.
Getty | Christopher Polk

And when he flexes his biceps, a thousand angels sing.

And he can like really pull off a baseball cap.
Getty | Christopher Polk

And he can like really pull off a baseball cap.

Because, come on.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Because, come on.

Plus, he's a total goofball and took a selfie with a little girl in the front row.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Plus, he's a total goofball and took a selfie with a little girl in the front row.

Even his bandmates look good.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Even his bandmates look good.

Because Florida Georgia Line's Brian Kelley rocks that dimpled-bad-boy thing.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Because Florida Georgia Line's Brian Kelley rocks that dimpled-bad-boy thing.

And Tyler Hubbard ain't bad either.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And Tyler Hubbard ain't bad either.

You know, if you're into tattooed country/rap/rock star types.
Getty | Kevin Winter

You know, if you're into tattooed country/rap/rock star types.

I repeat: dimples.
Getty | Mark Davis

I repeat: dimples.

Bad boy never looked so good.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Bad boy never looked so good.

Because Dustin Lynch drinks his beers like this.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Because Dustin Lynch drinks his beers like this.

And he's 100 percent pure cowboy.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And he's 100 percent pure cowboy.

And those jeans . . . yikes.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And those jeans . . . yikes.

Um, and dimples!
Getty | Kevin Winter

Um, and dimples!

Cheers to a megawatt smile.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Cheers to a megawatt smile.

He definitely passes the butt test.
Getty | Kevin Winter

He definitely passes the butt test.

Because Jason Aldean may not be the hottest, but he can still work tight jeans.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Because Jason Aldean may not be the hottest, but he can still work tight jeans.

And his sexy songs make up for it.
Getty | Christopher Polk

And his sexy songs make up for it.

Seriously, look up his music.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Seriously, look up his music.

Because Thomas Rhett is a sort of hairy, grungy cowboy . . . in a cute way.
Getty | Christopher Polk

Because Thomas Rhett is a sort of hairy, grungy cowboy . . . in a cute way.

And, well, you know where I'm going with this.
Getty | Christopher Polk

And, well, you know where I'm going with this.

Because I don't know who Dave Simonett of Trampled by Turtles is, but he's really hot.
Getty | Karl Walter

Because I don't know who Dave Simonett of Trampled by Turtles is, but he's really hot.

Because if you're into that baby-faced cowboy look, Jon Pardi has you covered.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Because if you're into that baby-faced cowboy look, Jon Pardi has you covered.

He's just a good ol' country boy.
Getty | Kevin Winter

He's just a good ol' country boy.

Or if you're into a tattooed alt-rock crossover look, there's Franky Perez.
Getty | Frazer Harrison

Or if you're into a tattooed alt-rock crossover look, there's Franky Perez.

And if you like beefy, camo-wearing country rockers, there's Brantley Gilbert.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And if you like beefy, camo-wearing country rockers, there's Brantley Gilbert.

There's even a bearded ginger — Eric Paslay!
Getty | Kevin Winter

There's even a bearded ginger — Eric Paslay!

And if you squint your eyes, Sam Outlaw sort of looks like Justin Theroux.
Getty | Mark Davis

And if you squint your eyes, Sam Outlaw sort of looks like Justin Theroux.

And if you like mullets . . . Yeah, OK. Too far.
Getty | Karl Walter

And if you like mullets . . . Yeah, OK. Too far.

But hey, Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney of Dan + Shay are pretty adorable.
Getty | Kevin Winter

But hey, Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney of Dan + Shay are pretty adorable.

And Dan Smyers has a Darren Criss vibe going on.
Getty | Kevin Winter

And Dan Smyers has a Darren Criss vibe going on.

There's even a Canadian country singer: Corb Lund.
Getty | Frazer Harrison

There's even a Canadian country singer: Corb Lund.

Then there's Jackson White, who kind of looks like he belongs in a British boy band (he's actually in a band with Katey Sagal).
Getty | Frazer Harrison

Then there's Jackson White, who kind of looks like he belongs in a British boy band (he's actually in a band with Katey Sagal).

For folksy gals looking for a guy who can play the washboard, there's this guy from Spirit Family Reunion.
Getty | Karl Walter

For folksy gals looking for a guy who can play the washboard, there's this guy from Spirit Family Reunion.

And this James Dean look-alike.
Getty | Karl Walter

And this James Dean look-alike.

Whiskey Shivers is here to satisfy your mohawk attraction.
Getty | Karl Walter

Whiskey Shivers is here to satisfy your mohawk attraction.

Calico has the shaggy-haired accordion player of your dreams.
Getty | Mark Davis

Calico has the shaggy-haired accordion player of your dreams.

Into banjo-playing hipsters, you say? Meet Charlie Worsham.
Getty | Kevin Winter

Into banjo-playing hipsters, you say? Meet Charlie Worsham.

In conclusion: butts.
Getty

In conclusion: butts.