Mom Shares Daughter's Words to a Friend Subjected to Racism: "I'll Hurt With You"
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After Rachel Macy Stafford's daughter tearfully recalled her best friend being subjected to racism on their school bus one afternoon, the mom says the young girl's actions and words in response are something she'll "never forget." When the girl asked her friend if she was OK and got no response, she "scooted closer" to her friend, and because she didn't know what else to do, she says she just "hurt with her."
In a touching post to her blog's Facebook page, The Hands Free Revolution, the New York Times bestselling author shared what she's learned from watching her daughter's relationship with her best friend unfold over the years and what her girl's words mean to her.
"I hurt with her. It took me a moment to recover from that. I filed those powerful words away and continued observing this mighty pair," Rachel wrote in the post, before outlining all the ways these girls have supported each other. "They respond compassionately to each other's needs. When one cannot have a treat due to gluten allergies or braces, the other goes without too. And when they have disagreements, they look into each other's eyes, listen to each other's words, and work through it."
The mom continued, explaining that the pair attended a basketball camp together this Summer, where they were the only two girls. Although they were initially shocked, they powered through together by playing hard and cheering each other on all Summer long. On the final day, Rachel dropped the girls off, and her daughter said to her best friend: "Thank you so much for going with me to that new camp. If you hadn't been there, I don't know what I would have done!"
Her best friend responded: "If you ever have to go to a new basketball camp, don't worry. I will always go with you."
After hearing this exchange, Rachel, who says she is constantly taking note "of what these two friends have to teach me," is now hoping that the whole world can learn something from the special bond they share.
She wrote:
What if we collectively remember, "I'll hurt with you," is something we can all do when we don't know what to do? What if we collectively look into the eyes of our brothers and sisters to acknowledge their story and their pain rather than closing our eyes or looking away? What if we collectively acknowledged our privileges and blessings would be even greater if shared by our sisters and brothers? What if we collectively agree it is not "your back" or "my back," but "our back" if we are to create a unified and peaceful world for future generations?
I think we can all agree there is a lot on the line for our country right now. Unity, peace, progress, understanding, and love are all on the line, and it's hard to know if they're going to make the cut. But then my husband sends me a photo. And this is what I see on the line at a local football game. The goal of this mighty little team is not to win, have the most, or be the best. The goal of this mighty little team is to love . . . to love each other as they want to be loved. The goal of this team is to have "our back." For they know they are stronger together than they are alone. Let us take note. There's so much on the line.