Is It That Bad to Use Your Kids to Get What You Want From Your Husband?

The truth is I want a dog. I've had one pretty much my whole life, minus the last five years, when the dog I owned at the time nipped my then-1-year-old daughter in the face. While the dog had been with me longer than my husband (who's admittedly not a dog-lover), I agreed with his take that it was best for my not-so-good-with-kids pup to go live with my parents instead.

Fast-forward five years, and I'm not alone in my desire for a dog. My now-6-year-old daughter and my 3-year-old son are equally desperate for a four-legged friend. My daughter has already made her Christmas wish list, with a puppy at the top; we often discuss dog names while we run errands; my son even has an imaginary dog he named Hona, who inexplicably has gone to puppy heaven (is there anything sadder than a toddler's imaginary dead dog?!).

Because my kids undoubtedly share my love for dogs and desire to add one to our family — and because I know my husband is way more likely to give in to their constant pleas than my own — I leave it to them to lead the "we want a dog" charge. It's just one of the many ways I use my kids to get what I want from my husband, and I'm not sure whether that fact makes me an evil, manipulative wife or just plain smart.

See, my husband is a great guy; he's generous and caring and very involved with our children, but he's also almost as strong-willed as I am, and while this makes for a partnership that's passionate and energetic, it also means we can butt heads about things we both feel strongly about (i.e. my desire for a dog; his desire not to have one). And that's where the kids come in, acting as my little minions and minimizing parental conflict. Genius, right?

While the dog is the major way I'm currently using my children to manipulate my husband, they're equally valuable for the little things. I don't feel like making my family the three separate dinners they're currently requiring? My kids are suddenly desperate to go out for pizza, after my subtle suggestion. Don't feel like engaging in my toddler's bedtime struggles? I just have to whisper in his tiny ear, "Don't you really want Daddy to put you to bed?" and suddenly he's all about my husband, not me. Need some alone time? Remind my kids of the newest movie release, and they're instantly desperate for Daddy to take them.

Maybe my tactic isn't the kindest way to treat my partner — though I'm sure he's at least partially aware of what I'm up to — but the truth is mothering my children is a lot of work, and don't I deserve to get a little something out of it? Even if it's only a pizza?