Open Letter to the Sun in Advance of the Solar Eclipse From Parents Everywhere

Hey Sun,

I know I don't reach out to you unless I want something (we both know I was a bit needy during that weeklong rain spell this past Spring, and sure, I'm all-out dreadful during pretty much every Chicago Winter), but hear me out on this one.

As you know, this month there'll be a total solar eclipse — a once-in-a-lifetime event. OK, once-in-a-human-lifetime . . . I get this is, like, an every-weekend kinda thing for you. But, here's the rub: it's taking place on Aug. 21. A Monday.

Lame, right? Like, for me to attend the celebration, I'm going to have to take off work. I only have so many PTO days, and I have that big week at the lake coming up that I'd hate to cut short. And, like, three more weddings this Fall where you kind of have to take off a Friday for travel.

Not to mention, I'll have to drive the five-plus hours to St. Louis with my husband, two kids, and dog in order to see the totality. Doing that and then driving back home on a Monday night does not really make a ton of logistical sense, you know?

And, listen, it's not just me that you're inconveniencing. The mom who responded to the Solar Eclipse Party Facebook invite has good reason to ask you to reschedule. It's the first day of school! Come on, Sun. That's just poor planning on your part and you know it.

So, please, if you can, just talk this over with Moon (I don't have her email . . . can you forward?), and maybe push the eclipse up a day. Or two, even. Saturday would really be great because then we can have a barbecue and not have to worry about getting up superearly the next morning.

Oh, and last teeny-tiny request: if it's not too much trouble, could you not make staring at the eclipse damaging to our eyes? I think I mentioned I've got kids — a toddler and a baby — and you have to know how impossible it is to tell them not to stare at the thing you are staring at. And trust me, no matter how many cool Eclipse glasses I buy, my kid is not going to keep them on for more than a minute at a time. So . . . Yeah, you'd really be doing us all a big favor.

Thanks,
Kate

P.S. Do you know offhand if taking a picture of you during an eclipse will break my iPhone? Because if I can't Instagram this, I might just skip it.