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MicheleCuthbertson MicheleCuthbertson 3 years

Love your response! I totally agree with you that a lot of these qualities can be taught by good parenting!

MicheleCuthbertson MicheleCuthbertson 3 years

It is nice to see someone else has the same mindset when it comes to looking into more important reasoning as to weather or not to have another child!

MicheleCuthbertson MicheleCuthbertson 3 years

This article, of course only looks a these reasons from one point of view. Pretty much every single reason they have listed can also be a downside to having a sibling. Learning to share....actually studies have shown that children with siblings become over protective of their things because they are forced to share at home, while only children learn to be more giving and share, because they are not constantly having things taken from them so they are not as protective of them. Or the learning from the sibling.... Also studies show that children with siblings tend to be dependent on the older because they are used to them doing for them, while only children are forced to learn and be independent. I could go on and on here because I am in the middle of trying to make the decision of weather or not to try and continue making the attempt to give my daughter a sibling, but I will tell you what makes my mind up has nothing to do with the silly reasoning this article focuses on!

Working-Mom-SurvivalKit1390566082 Working-Mom-SurvivalKit1390566082 3 years

very nice post.. very true.

LouisaBetlehem1384652216 LouisaBetlehem1384652216 3 years

It saddens and upsets me to read this article as the benefits of having a sibling are obvious to everyone. I feel this article puts unnecessary pressure on us and that is not helpful. (You wouldn't walk around to people and say "you should have a child" (when they haven't got any kids yet), would you?). I vomited until week 20 of my pregnancy and then lost my job because the boss didn't think mothers can be reliable (even though I worked there 9 years and had many loyal patients ). I was stuck in bed for all that vomiting period and couldn't even look after myself properly. To think of having a second child is very hard as the question rises who will look after my first child when I go through severe morning sickness again. I'm very sorry, I just think this is a very personal matter. It's not nice to imply children who are only child will be selfish, won't know how to share, etc. Imagine all the mums who want to have a second child but they can't seem to get pregnant again? It's not like, we can just will it to happen and it'll occur.

April31607 April31607 3 years

Well I enjoyed the article! Made me smile as we are working on a second :) Not everything has to be so serious!!
Plus I love my siblings and would do anything for them

Carissagarza1389615082 Carissagarza1389615082 3 years

I'm sorry but all of those things can be learned without a sibling. And many of them not with a sibling. I, and most people I know with siblings, never played with them because we were more than 1 year apart. We did our own things and learned these things by having friends and classmates. You should have another child because you as PARENTS want another child, not to give your child a playmate. That is the wrong reason and you will be disappointed when they don't play together. We will have only one child because we want only one child and can afford only one child, and I am not worried that my daughter will not know how to share or play with other children. Terrible reasons to make such an important decision.

KathleenHardy KathleenHardy 3 years

Amen! And it doesn't mean that siblings have similar interests or even like each other. If one sib is all about sports and the other isn't-- not much to play with there, and that's o.k.!

We have two kids, both adopted, and, because of circumstances beyond our control, our kids are 13 years apart. Not a lot in common, there, either. But our teen boy loves his little sister anyway.

I come from a family of 8 kids (I'm the second oldest), and while I did play with my closest-in-age sister, I did not do the 'lean on' in times of trouble or 'ask advice' (and my younger sibs did not come to me with a whole lot of questions, either. Some, but not a lot.) Most of our real talking and teaching and leaning on and whatnot has all come as adults-- not kids!

ChristinaKuhn ChristinaKuhn 3 years

I'm sorry to say that siblings can be overrated. Yes, many siblings are fortunate enough to get along for the rest of their lives, but it doesn't guarantee you will have a selfless child or a child who learns to share. These qualities need to be taught by parents, not simply left to siblings to "educate" each other. This is great if things work well with your siblings, but not everyone has that good fortune. My child will probably have to be an only child due to factors beyond our control, but only doesn't need to mean lonely or selfish. :)

MissSushi MissSushi 8 years
No, but i've had just as many experiences quite like that including severe burns becuase she burnt the house down, injuries sustained from biting and hitting, etc. Maybe you should follow your own advice and not assume that your situation is the only one worth any note or pain. You dont know my story any more then i know the details of your story, and i never said it was as bad as, worse, or easier then yours. It works both ways. My only point is you write post after post on here that anyone who reads it reguraly knows you have a disabled child. They know you scoff at anyone elses pain, citing your own problems and that they have no room to talk becuase yours is worse. Ive read post after post where the tone is negative, bitter, and angry towards the child, whether you mean it or not, and then this latest one where you say the siblings of a disabled child have to deal with a burden, becuase their sibling might be disabled. My only point is you might want to rethink the way you portray the situation or they will start taking your lead. Either way, I feel compassion for EVERY situation like this, because I dont deem any situation better or anyone's pain less. You dont hurt any less becuase someone somewhere is worse off. It's your life, and its about the choices you make and the things you learn. I'm not going to argue anymore, though.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
start thinking that way? ever had your arm broken by your disabled sister? do you pay $8,500 a month for her care? have you been woken up every night for so many months that you lost track, by someone screaming like acid was being poured on them? ever watched your sister be put in a striaght jacket because she was having a mental breakdown (age 7) and physically destrying herself? i assure you that my children know more than ANY child should have to know about having a disabled family member. if your sister is a blessing to you then i wish you well as her care taker, in your home as a part of your family. but talking about what "might" happen one day is very, very different than living it. i'm not "acting", i am stating what our family is experiencing. it is not "difficult at times", it is difficult and painful every day because our child is physically suffering. and people like you add to the burden by assuming to know what our situation is when in fact you know NOTHING.
MissSushi MissSushi 8 years
I don't think having a sibling with a disability, whether severe or not, is a burden to siblings. My sister is severely disabled and will require lifelong care. None of my other 2 siblings and I have ever felt like she was a burden or like we didn't want to have to deal with her. I was prompted around 13 or 14 that her care would fall to me if an accident happened to my parents. If anything, it's a chance for someone to grow up understanding disabilities, mental conditions, and compassion beyond what the average kid growing up has to deal with. It can absolutely be difficult at times, and I even as a young kid, shed more then a few tears about the injustice and cruelty in the world, but its still life. It would happen for one reason or another, no matter if she was disabled or not. She is an integral part of our family, and always will be. To be honest, your attitude will probably affect how they view their sister more then anything else. If you keep acting like its a burden thats going to ruin and hamper their lives, they're going to start thinking that way.
dani17731 dani17731 8 years
As an only child, this makes me sad. :( It's almost too late for my mom, but my dad has a few more years! lol (They're not together, btw)
cotedazur cotedazur 8 years
I'm not pregnant yet, but I'm only planning on having one child. My husband, as an adult, has had nothing but conflict and disappointments from his two brothers - arguments about who is the favorite child, jealousy over who gets the most support from their parents, petty fights between girlfriends, family secrets aired to mutual friends, etc. I'm an only and my parents are my best friends. I feel as though the only thing I've missed out on as an only child is conflict. Even in elementary school my friends with siblings were always scratching, pulling hair, or kicking; I also remember that they were much worse at sharing because they were used to protecting their possessions from their siblings.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
yes, it's all flowers and rainbows until a sibling with a disability comes along. i feel incredible guilt over the fact that my 2 younger girls will have a lifetime of care giving to do for their older severely disabled sister. even if it isn't financial (and our plan is that it won't be), they will still have the moral pull to care for her and to make sure she is doing "okay" in her care facility. that being said, i think a sibling can offer a lot. as an only child i didn't really get how to negotiate with peers, and didn't understand that "i hate you" only applied for about as long as it took for the words to be heard, lol.
FrankiLee FrankiLee 8 years
I should not have read this story! I have baby fever badly -- my daughter is almost 14 months now. We are going to wait until she's two to start trying again....but how I want to start trying now!! Cute article.
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