The Real Reason This Mom Never Sits Down

By Kate Stahl

When I was a kid, I vividly remember wondering why my mom never sat down. The rest of the family would be lounging in the living room, watching television, reading books, and generally zoning out, but she was always on her feet, even when my dad would implore her to join us. At the time, I thought her constant motion was a personal decision — that she was the kind of person who just couldn't relax — but almost 30 years later, now that I'm the mom of two small children, I realize the real reasons she never sat down . . . because they're the same reasons that I am now constantly on my feet, even when my husband begs me to join him and the kids on the couch, even when I'm exhausted, even when sitting sounds pretty wonderful.

Here are the five reasons you'll almost never find a mom of young kids lounging on the couch with her feet up.

  1. She has a toddler who treats her like a jungle gym. "Sit by me," is a constant refrain from my 3-year-old son, and of course, I often do. But inevitably, within a few minutes of me sitting next to him, instead of the cuddling session — while he watches Despicable Me for the 100th time and I scan Instagram — that I'd like to happen, he ends up using my body as a human obstacle course, sitting on my chest, climbing up every limb, and licking any exposed skin he can find. Wiping down the kitchen counters is far more fun.
  2. No one else in the family seems to notice the dishes/laundry/dust bunnies. My never-sitting mom was always in one of two rooms when I was a child, and I bet you $100 any mother can guess what they are. (If you said kitchen and laundry room, you're a winner.) They're the same two rooms I'm always in now too because, like most every other mom I know, I'm the only one who seems to notice that the kitchen's a mess and the laundry is overflowing . . . every single day.
  3. She's had enough Disney Junior. My kids are 6 and 3, which means that Disney Junior is on a lot in our house, to the point that I now know what sentence is coming out of Sofia the First's mouth next and what's going to happen to Donald in whatever episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse my son is currently entranced by. I've had enough for a lifetime, so until my kids let me reclaim the remote (sometime after they graduate high school, I'm guessing), I'll be avoiding the TV room, no matter how comfy our couch is.
  4. She knows the minute she sits, her kids will ask for something. It's a great mom truth: sit down and relax for more than 30 seconds, and your children will immediately remember they need a drink, a snack, a lost toy, or help with a craft. Tell them they need to wait five minutes and the request will most definitely become an emergency. It's easier just to stay standing (aka ready to field requests) at all times.
  5. She's avoiding her children. You know that phrase "sitting duck"? That's what every stationary mother is: just an easy target for her kids to abuse physically or emotionally. Keep it moving and they're less likely to find you, and because you're probably cleaning, cooking, or being otherwise productive while you move around the house, you can tell yourself you're just busy and not neglecting your children. Win-win!