Worried You're a Lawnmower Parent? Follow These Steps to Nip It in the Bud

Updated on Sep 14, 2018 at 11:05 AM

As moms and dads, our first reaction to learning that our children have a problem is to make it better . . . fast. While protecting our brood from harm is a completely normal reaction, it seems that recently, we've been going a little overboard. And no, we're not talking about your run-of-the-mill helicopter parent. There's a new unflattering trend in town, lawnmower parenting, and it's arguably 10 times worse than hovering around your kid.

So what exactly is lawnmower parenting? According to a now-viral essay written by a teacher, it's a "troubling trend" where moms and dads do everything in their power to ensure their kids never have to face a stitch of adversity or face a challenge head-on, even if it means cutting out of work midday, skipping their hair appointment, or canceling a lunch with friends.

Not sure if you fit the lawnmower parenting profile? Then consider the personal story referenced in the teacher's essay:

"Recently, I was called down to the main office in the middle of my planning period," the teacher explained. "I needed to pick up an item that a parent dropped off for their child. Thinking it was something like an inhaler or money for dinner, I was happy to go retrieve it. When I got to the front office, the parent was holding out a S'well bottle for me."

Who was holding the water bottle? Her doting dad, who stopped by on his way to drop it off, of course.

"'Hi, sorry,' the parent said sheepishly. He was in a suit, clearly headed to work (or something work-like). 'Remy kept texting me that she needed it. I texted back, Don't they have water fountains at your school?, but I guess she just had to have it out of the bottle.' He laughed, as if to say, Teenagers, am I right?"

Sound familiar? If so, scroll through to see how you can nip your lawnmower parenting habits right in the bud. Trust us, your kids will be better off for it in the long run.

Let them learn from their mistakes.

Rather than rushing to the school to bring a forgotten piece of homework or a water bottle that they just need for their lunch, try the tough-love route and teach them to learn from the mistake. Sure, they might straight up beg you to bring it, but you're just going to be making the same trip next week when they forget it again. Although it can sometimes be hard to tell your child no, learning by trial and error exists for a reason.

Allow them to take charge of their own lives starting at a young age.

A post published in the Pittsburgh Moms Blog in 2016 by a college professor hit the nail on the head: in order for kids to be successful, they need to speak for themselves and make their own decisions. And we're not talking about letting them have the final say as to which cable provider your family goes with. She emphasized letting them revel in the little things, like ordering their own food while out to eat, scheduling their own play dates, and asking for directions by themselves.

Come to terms with the fact they won't fail out from forgetting their flute one time.

While we're aware the pressure to succeed is higher than ever on kids, if they forget their flute one time, they're not going to fail out of middle school. Yes, it's tempting to give in when your kiddo sends you a panicked text message about how they're going to have to sit out practice if they don't show up with their instrument in hand, but we're pretty sure they'll live through it.

Ensure older kids try having the hard conversations first.

Did your sophomore get detention? Fail that history quiz she barely studied for? Forgot his gym clothes for the umpteenth time? It happens! Instruct your teen to approach their teacher or coach first in a calm and respective manner before you jump on the phone to defend them. If they still can't solve the problem, then it's OK to intervene. However, the authority figures in their lives usually appreciate it more when the discussion stems from the student in question, not Mom or Dad.

Just trust them!

Unless you have serious reason to believe otherwise, children want to succeed. Yes, they will stumble and make mistakes now and then, but that's what growing up is all about. All you can do as a parent is to give your children room to make mistakes and be there to support them, whether they're big or small.