I'm a Single Mom of 6 Who Already Knows Women Make Great Leaders

Published on Nov 8, 2016 at 6:00 PM

My six children have had a woman president in office for the past eight years. A woman's voice, a woman in charge, laying down her laws on issues like birth control, medical and financial health, employment accessibility, marijuana use, education, race relations, and gun control.

A woman who carefully listens to the different points of view. Who regularly has polls about what our house believes to be the best decisions, decisions for the benefit of the whole, while also weighing in the needs of each individual.

That president would be me, their single mom.

A registered republican since 1992, because my dad was back then, and I didn't know enough at 19 to look into different party beliefs.

A registered republican who has rarely voted the way that my voter card says I should.

A registered republican who strongly supported Barack Obama both terms.

Silly me, I felt that if we put a black president in office, THAT would mean we've achieved something. If we could do that, there would be no limit to what we, as a country, could accomplish.

I was wrong. The rampant virility of a social and mainstream media with no tether has shown me that. The continued mistreatment of our minorities, a group of people that has done nothing but grow larger with each passing year — now encompassing gender identity, religious beliefs, sexual preference, income levels — right alongside the age-old issues of race and gender at birth, has shown me that.

A black president changed none of that.

In a house where a woman has had the rule, we never wondered whether a woman would be up to the challenge, or whether, just due to the sex of the candidate, one achievement would be greater than the other.

Instead, we've been searching for heart. We've been looking for trust, for respect. The right president for this house to reflect our humanitarian beliefs, rather than republican, democratic, or liberal beliefs.

The right leader for us does not hinge on man or woman.

So, while we would be happy to see Hillary achieve her goal, and while we recognize it would be a further step toward equality, we would also be watching closely. No one in this house believes the achievement would be greater JUST because she is a woman.

It's not about our bodies. Our hearts and minds look the same on the inside; it's what we choose to do with them that makes the greatest difference. It's how we condition and teach those hearts and minds that ultimately drives our actions.

I've always raised my children to recognize that all are equal, that all deserve the same rights, freedoms, and liberties. To claim a greater victory due to the sex of the winner in this election would be undoing all of that.

I'm not saying that more work doesn't need to be done, or that woman's equality along with the equality of every single person in this world doesn't need some extra pushing and support. I'm saying that it all starts in our house. It all begins with us and how we raise our own.

So, I've asked my house to weigh in. How would they feel if their country has elected the first woman president?

Here's what they had to say:

My son Stephen, age 22

"Personally, gender does not play a role when I'm deciding on who to vote for or in any interaction I have with society in general. I feel women are just as capable to do the things men can in an equal manner, if not better. In this political climate where it's just hate, I feel the gender of a person does play a role in most people's minds and will for sure cement feelings for some as far as women's rights. I think there is a side of this country that will find the one thing "wrong" with someone and go after that — for Obama it was his heritage — and I can see for Clinton it will be the fact she is a woman. I think a lot of women's rights activists would be very happy to see how far it's come. Are there still issues with pay gaps and such? Sure, but just a few years ago women couldn't even vote and now we could have a woman as president. I'd say those are big achievements and a step forward for women everywhere."

My daughter Korrinne, age 21 (first-time voter)

"Gender never crossed my mind when it came to voting for Hilary Clinton. I knew it was either Clinton or Trump. Do I want a man in office who listens with his mouth, has no solution to problems other than 'I will defeat ISIS' and provides NO sense of protection? If anything, I would feel more vulnerable. Clinton got my vote because she has proven she has more to offer this country than Donald Trump. Why would I vote for a man who would take away my right to vote if he could do so? Why would I vote for a man who would take away my sister's right to marry the person she loves? Why would I vote for a president who has ALREADY started tearing people apart? That's right, I wouldn't. My vote had nothing to do with having a man or woman in office, it had to do with right and wrong being in office."

My daughter Abigail, age 18 (first-time voter)

"Gender had nothing to do with this. I voted for Hillary because she scares me less than Trump. How f*cking sad is that? What does that say about the state of this country?"

My daughter Alex, age 17

"Gender wasn't a thing until Trump made it a thing. It doesn't matter to me that she is a woman, it matters that she has political experience and he does not."

My daughter Amy, age 15

"I don't know. It's doesn't really matter that she's a woman. It would be good to have the first woman president. I don't want Trump to win."

My daughter Leah, age 13

"Same as Amy. Why? Did you vote for Trump? You can't have voted for Trump."

Truth be told, gender never entered our conversations surrounding this election. I'm proud to be able to say that. Equality already exists in this house.

After all, we can't claim to support true equality and sameness until we stop seeing and highlighting our differences.

Don't you think?

2016 Election