Fidget Spinners May Have Been Dead, But Breitbart Just Killed Them All Over Again

Steve Bannon may have spent the better part of this year by President Donald Trump's side at the White House, but as of this week, he's right back where he started — at the very top of the masthead at Breitbart. But it would seem that nobody told him that time continued to move while he was absent from the publication, as evidenced by one very nondiscreet item that just popped up in the Breitbart store. Apparently, the next step in Bannon's "war" on Trump will be waged with fidget spinners.

"I feel jacked up," Bannon told The Weekly Standard on Aug. 18. "Now I'm free. I've got my hands back on my weapons. Someone said, 'it's Bannon the Barbarian.' I am definitely going to crush the opposition. There's no doubt. I built a f*cking machine at Breitbart. And now I'm about to go back, knowing what I know, and we're about to rev that machine up. And rev it up we will do."

Bannon may be revved up, but Breitbart is jumping on a dead trend. Fidget Spinners had their moment — a long, drawn-out, pleasant-at-first, then awfully painful moment — but it's long been over. Even if they were still the coolest thing around, who actually wants to have an item with Bannon's scowling face on it, let alone a pack of three or 10? Well, according to the product description in the Breitbart Store, "Leftists need comfort at times like these. Gift them this pacifying item that will give them something to do in between pulling down monuments."

While this is abhorrent at best, remember that we are talking about fidget spinners here. And that this is Bannon's life now — his rhetoric no longer spans the surface area of the United States and is merely limited to a website full of bonkers theorists and a capitalism-driven online store. If this is Bannon's idea of war, we'll take it. But we'll also take a pass on the fidget spinners.