We partnered with Lionsgate and Charlie Mortdecai on this post that teaches us how to creatively decline an invite when you just don't want to say "no."
If you happen to be a gentleman or gentlewoman of well regard, allow me to congratulate you on your popularity. However, by now you know all too well that attending every event is impossible, especially if you crave the company of your comfy couch and a glass of wine (even on a Friday night — we've all been there). Therefore, you will need a proper excuse when declining your invites. These have served me well; use them wisely.
The Sudden Remembrance of a Public Event
This excuse is quite solid — after all, your accomplice is the truth, which is a rarity when spinning a falsehood. Choose a public event happening the day of your engagement (a gallery opening, an evening at the symphony, a sporting event) and tell your would-be host that you have already purchased tickets to the event, but you had forgotten because the tickets were acquired far in advance. You'll still remain in their good graces, and the likelihood of getting an invite to future events remains high.
The Good Samaritan Scenario
Anything that shows you in a good light and doubles as an excuse is a best-case scenario. Stay away from anything too public (such as charities and charitable events — karma can be a fickle thing), but instead consider a trip to see a relative or helping a friend refinish the cherry wood on their DIY home bar. It always seems to do the trick.
An Appointment With a Health Specialist
Don't get yourself into a pickle by claiming to be having any kind of procedure that is life-threatening. The excuse should feature a procedure that is common yet more severe than, say, a routine checkup. A noble colonoscopy, perhaps — an unwavering excuse met with minimal questions . . . to be used sparingly, of course.
The Ailing Pet
Nothing brings plans to a halt quicker than a furry little companion whose disposition has taken a sour turn. I find that a fictional sick pet always does the trick. Since they are often unable to take care of themselves, your presence is required at their side through this uncomfortable experience. Plus, fictional pets are rarely in short supply. Hint: do not use this excuse twice in a row.
More from Mortdecai
Mortdecai is in theaters this Friday, Jan. 23! Special screenings start Thursday at 7 p.m. See it with a friend, loved one, or loyal manservant!