An Open Letter to the Mom Tribe I Can’t Live Without
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There is nothing that means more to me than my family, but there is one group that comes pretty darn close. Girlfriends, I'm talking about you. As a new mom, a sort-of seasoned mom, and beyond, the value of being surrounded by "your people" is tremendous. And because I don't find the time to do so nearly often enough (plus, ), here's my best attempt at the thank-you that you all deserve. Life without you would be a lot more challenging, a lot more lonely . . . and not nearly as much fun.
I was among the first of my college/post-college friends to have a baby, so navigating the early days of "Who are we going to hang out with?" with a newborn was kind of a strange new territory. I joined the mom groups, went to the meet-ups, and really gave it my all. It's a different universe. All of a sudden, you're trading intimate details with virtual strangers. They're offering to hold your baby so you can run and grab a coffee. You're sharing childrearing philosophies (and the not-always-synced-up realities) and future plans for your baby and family — big, important stuff! And in little time, if you're lucky, you'll find "your people" among these strangers, and they'll become your tribe.
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I'll never forget the first "mom meet-up" I went to with my then-2-week-old baby boy. About eight of us had planned to rendezvous at a Starbucks in our Brooklyn neighborhood. The baby was resting in his stroller, but not buckled in, as I'd just put him down there. I misjudged the incline of the ramp at the door, and he slow motion slid out of the stroller (My diaper bag padded the slo-mo slide and he was totally fine). I was horrified/mortified/all of the above, and couldn't help but tell everyone at the meet up what had just happened on my way in. Probably not the smartest move. But I locked eyes with another mom, she smiled at me, quietly said "It's OK, he's fine, isn't he?" and I knew she was (and still is!) one of my people.
These are the women I call in a pinch when I'm stuck in traffic, and the clock for school pickup is ticking away. These are the women who make it possible for me to survive (and stay sane) while my husband is on a month-long business trip — or when I'm figuring out the logistics of being away myself. These are the women who stocked my fridge with meals when I'd just had a new baby and was functioning on what felt like 30 minutes of sleep a night. These are the women who will hear out my insecurities and concerns and celebrate my victories, both big and small. These are the women who convince me to get dressed up, get out on the town, and let loose when they can tell that I need it. These are the women whose kids I watch out for as if they were my own (and I would do the same for them). These are the women who just get it.
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Since having my first baby, we've left the city and bought a house in the 'burbs, had a second child, then, in an unexpected twist, packed our bags and moved to Asia for a year. So, the members of my own tribe have evolved. As they do. But what I've learned — especially during our stint across the globe — is that mom tribes are there for each other in a way that's special, unique, and incredibly precious.
When I was living 8,000 miles from home, in Hong Kong, I woke up one morning in July to learn that one of my oldest and dearest friends in New York had passed away very suddenly, and very tragically. Home had never felt further away. I felt like a walking zombie upon hearing the news, but had my 2- and 5-year-olds to put first. We had plans with a close friend and her children that day, and she swooped in and entertained my kids while I took phone calls from friends and family back home, and attempted to digest the news. She knew exactly what needed to be done, and didn't ask any questions — she was just there for me.
There's a mutual understanding, a bond, and a compassion that simply comes with the territory. When we made our big overseas move, I remember someone saying to me, "As long as you have your little family with you, that's all that matters." Which was sort of true. But the friends that I made there, and the friends I knew I could count on when we returned home 12 months later, they are what kept me sane and kept me smiling.
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If you're lucky enough to have a tribe to call your own, call them up to say thanks. Let them know what great mothers they are. Demonstrate your genuine appreciation by gifting merci® Chocolates, which are sure to be warmly received. And snap a picture next time you're together. Not just of the kids, but of their exceptional moms, too. Because these times with your powerful mom tribe are ones you'll want to remember. I've yet to meet a mom who doesn't love chocolates — especially when she doesn't have to share them with her kids.
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More from merci® Chocolates
Thank your #MomTribe with a box of merci® Chocolates. Shop them here.
To read about how other women thanked their #MomTribe, click here & here.