20 Unsexy Costume Ideas

From Smurfettes to Sponge Bob, there's no shortage of sexy Halloween costumes out there. But if the thought of yet another year freezing your butt off in some barely there rendition of a cartoon character or naughty fill-in-the-blank has you dreading the Oct. 31 frightfest, all hope is not lost. I've gathered together 20 of the least sexy Halloween costume ideas for all you nonconformist ladies out there. Ready to get all (not) hot and bothered? Click on!

01
Sister Wives

Sister Wives

Nothing screams "glamour" like a polygamous group costume. First you need a floral, floor-length Laura Ashley dress circa 1993. Now to just perfect the hairdo and I'm-crying-on-the-inside blank stare . . . Source: Nancy Einhart

02
Ex-Wife From Mean Girls
Paramount Pictures

Ex-Wife From Mean Girls

Creepy makeup and ugly fake teeth? Check. Horrible long-sleeved, floor-length wedding dress? Check. Wedding and divorce references? Check. You're ready to freak out every guy within a 10-mile radius! And when a sexy cat, bunny, or sailor asks you "Why are you so scary?", respond with "Because it's Halloween."

03
Dooneese on SNL
Costume Works

Dooneese on SNL

Kristen Wiig's tiny-armed singer from SNL's "Lawrence Welk Show" skit is easy to re-create with an outdated bridesmaid dress, bald headcap, snaggletooth, and of course baby doll arms. (Group idea! Grab three more friends to round out the sister act.)

04
Bearded Lady
FX

Bearded Lady

There's nothing more titillating than making out with a woman and her prickly facial hair, especially if her look is inspired by a freak-show performer.

05
Cute Full-Body Dinosaur
NBC

Cute Full-Body Dinosaur

Britta on Community loved her over-the-head cutesy animal costumes, and if you're also looking to challenge super-sexed-up female expectations on Halloween, you can take a cue from the character. Although some people may find it sexy . . .

06
Little Bo Peep
ABC

Little Bo Peep

Modern Family's Claire was going for a costume that harks back to a more innocent time. Just add about two yards of fabric to this costume for a grade-school-appropriate Little Bo Peep outfit.

07
Mrs. Pac-Man
Instagram | haiz12

Mrs. Pac-Man

When there are so many sultry ways to unleash your inner geek, finding the least body-conscious video-game-related costume you can is a must. Mrs. Pac-Man it is!

08
Gnome

Gnome

Just say "no" to a sexy gnome costume. All it takes for the nonslutty and hilarious version is red felt rolled into a cone shape and pinned into place, a blue sweater, black sweats, furry boots, and a Santa-like beard. Source: Lisa Pearce

09
A Wiener, of the Food Variety
ABC

A Wiener, of the Food Variety

A past Ugly Betty Halloween episode provided an excellent costume idea for not attracting wieners: be one! (It's also double duty if you dress as Ugly Betty in a wiener costume.)

10
Teletubby
Instagram | mieblomberg

Teletubby

Wear your furry kids'-TV-show-inspired costume with pride! Because they were meant to be unsexy.

11
Stuart From MadTV and a Crazy Cat Lady
Instagram | thirdnamejane

Stuart From MadTV and a Crazy Cat Lady

This girl knows where it's at with her unsexy Halloween costumes.

12
Wizard?
Instagram | smead317

Wizard?

Whatever this is, we're scared.

13
Frida Kahlo

Frida Kahlo

Unibrows for the win!

15
An Apple/Serpent Combo
Getty | Michael Buckner

An Apple/Serpent Combo

Heidi Klum and Seal always went over-the-top with their couples costumes, but that only made their unsexiness all the more terrifying (albeit impressive). It takes real talent to make the Adam and Eve costume concept not sexy.

16
Apes
Getty | Jemal Countess

Apes

Nope. Just, nope. Exhibit B for how to make a supermodel unsexy.

17
Salvador Dali Parton
NBC

Salvador Dali Parton

It's a pun, it's Tina Fey, it's unsexy. Does it get any better?

18
Hockey Player
CBS

Hockey Player

While you have to appreciate the Canucks team pride from How I Met Your Mother's Robin Scherbatsky, a full hockey uniform (with helmet) isn't exactly sexy . . . except maybe to hard-core fellow fans.

19
Dice
ABC

Dice

There's a way to do sexy dice, and then there's the way Sue from The Middle did it — awkward and bulky perfection.

20
Einstein
Costume Works

Einstein

Smart is sexy. Einstein, not so much.