Dad Shares Why It's So Important That Partners Open Up About Miscarriages
"I think for our first miscarriage, I would have benefited from somebody saying to me, 'Tell your wife how you feel,'" starts a dad named Al in a video from Tommy's, an organization that funds research into pregnancy issues and provides pregnancy health information to parents. Miscarriages can be difficult for all parties involved to talk about with their loved ones and other connections.
However, once a seemingly taboo topic, miscarriage is being spoken about now more than ever, and Al is using his and his wife's experiences to urge other partners to open up and talk about their feelings.
"Don't say you're fine, don't say, 'Eh, I'll be alright.' You have to be honest. We went through a day or two where I was just carrying on and then I thought . . . let's just have the conversation and let's both just cry about it. I think Jen found it so useful to know that I was feeling, because otherwise I think she would have just felt completely isolated.
Just having bridged that gap and being open and honest about something so deep and so big, it's opened the gates to me being open and honest about everything . . . We've now had four miscarriages — three in a row. Looking back, it's staggering at how many people just completely avoided it with me. Dads have the same emotions, they have the same experience except for the physical side of miscarriage."
"There has to be a focus on both Mom and Dad for dealing and coping with miscarriage," Al continues. "You can go into a pub, and a quarter of the pub will have experienced miscarriage. So finding someone that has experienced it isn't hard. I think if you could have a talk about that with your mates, it'd be absolutely priceless."