They're squinting at their phones constantly. They forget their reading glasses so often, I recently considered ordering a portable pair to keep on me for them. They doze off during the evening news. They're at the dentist, or on the golf course whenever I call. Yup, my parents are getting older, and it can be hard to watch (even if it's also a little comical). I may roll my eyes when my dad turns the TV volume up so high our neighbors can hear it, or snicker to myself because my mom still wears a shower cap, but truthfully, I also worry about them. Because after every doctor's appointment, or when I hear a friend lost a parent, it's only natural to think about these three things as my parents get older.
I watched my mom lose her mother, and the thing I remember most from her grief is when she said, "I just wish I could call her." I'm filled with sadness when I think that one day, I won't be able to text my mom with a quick question about thread count and sheets, or call and get her opinion on if I should join the PTO or have another baby. And what about when my father isn't around to counsel me on how I shouldn't be drinking wine at noon on a Sunday? OK, well, that I could do without, but you get what I mean.
It's disorienting to imagine what life would be like without my parents. I know I'll need to figure out who I am then, because I definitely won't be the same person. I hope we still have a long time together, but every day, aren't we all getting older? Sniff. Hold on. I gotta go call my mom.
I mean, I turned around, and I'm older. I know I'll look in the mirror one day before I know it and see a truly old woman. Because as my grandmother said, "The older you get, the faster time goes." And I believe it! I'm not a girl with her whole life ahead of her any longer. The time to do what I want to do is now. I shouldn't put off going after my goals, like writing that book and traveling to New Zealand (OK, that one will have to wait since I have a 9-month-old, and holy long flight). Just like I should not put off taking that trip to visit my mom and dad.
It's draining to worry about your parents' well-being. I feel for anyone who is at the next stage, perhaps caring for an elderly parent, or having to make decisions about their living situation. I know that'll be me one day, and to be honest, I just wish things could be different — that my parents could stay nimble in mind and never become physically or emotionally fragile. Since that's not possible, I'll just hope for strength and courage to support them in their older years, and hopefully set a good example so my children will do the same for me!