Feel like reminiscing about mother-daughter duo Rory and Lorelai Gilmore? We know we always do. Thanks to their close, quirky relationship, Rory and single mom Lorelai Gilmore (played by Alexis Bledel and Lauren Graham, respectively) shared plenty of witty back-and-forths and one-liners over the course of the show's original seven seasons. As any avid fan of Gilmore Girls knows, sarcasm reigned supreme on the show, so here are the best Rory and Lorelai conversations and quips on breakups, sex, dating, and more!
Lane: Sex, is it great?
Rory: Not in front of the books, Lane!
Rory: You cannot date Luke.
Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.
Rory: If you date him, you'll break up, and we'll never be able to eat there again.
Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.
Rory: Date Al from Pancake World, his food stinks.
Rory: Hey, my mom's not wearing any underwear!
Rory: No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.
Lorelai: If you're gonna throw your life away, he'd better have a motorcycle!
Lorelai: Don't study so much that you get brilliant, go mad, grow a big bald egghead, and try to take over the world, OK? 'Cause I want to go shoe shopping this weekend.
Rory: Promise. I will not go mad until we get you some boots.
Lorelai: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card . . . just in case the prince is really dumb.
Emily: Now take me through this step by step. You see a man, you walk up to him, and you say?
Lorelai: "Hello."
Emily: Is that too forward?
Lorelai: No, it's the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.
Lorelai: It's all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang with 'til we drop dead. Not a lot to ask!
Rory: One of them, a married man, had a long conversation with — how shall I put this delicately? — a woman of less-than-reputable nature.
Lorelai: Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?
Rory: Depends on what they're doing when they're talking to you.
Lorelai: I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie.
Rory: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's going to be completely moronic.
Lorelai: I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.
Rory: You're happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: . . . Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy.
Rory: I don't want to be that kind of girl. The kind of girl who just falls apart because she doesn't have a boyfriend.
Lorelai: I'm going to make out in the coatroom. Don't eat my chicken.
Rory: That's going on your tombstone.
Rory: Now I'm supposed to look pretty and girly which is completely impossible because I'm gross and I have nothing to wear.
Rory: You just want to hold a grudge.
Lorelai: Yes. Burns more calories.
Rory: That's not true.
Lorelai: Yes, it is. How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.
Rory: I'm going to have to quit drinking coffee, and I love coffee!
Lorelai: If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.
Lorelai: I can't believe you're going to a therapist. You know, they're totally going to ask you about me.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: They always want to ask about your mother. It's OK. Say whatever you want. But make sure you start with "my mother's very hot."
Rory: Yes, that won't seem at all disturbing to the doctor.