Skip Nav
Celebrity Couples
These Photos of Lily James and Matt Smith Will Make Your Heart Sing
What Did Prince Charles Want to Name William and Harry?
The Royals
Prince Charles Wanted These Names For William and Harry, but Diana Called Them "Too Old"
The Royals
16 Pictures That Prove Kate and Camilla Cannot Contain Their Laughter Around Each Other

President Obama's Jokes at the Turkey Pardoning 2016

Obama's Turkey Pardoning Speech Is Stuffed to the Feathers With Bad Thanksgiving Puns

Every year, the president of the United States pardons the national Thanksgiving turkey in front of an audience, and President Obama has always made sure it's an event to remember. Last year, he embarrassed daughters Sasha and Malia with the dad joke of the century, and this year — his last year in office — he decided to double down on his so-bad-they're-good one-liners while standing next to his adorable nephews (who "still believe in bad puns"), Austin and Aaron Robinson. Watch the video below (starting at the 28:30 mark) to see him speak for yourself, and if you can't wait, skip ahead to every incredible dad joke from his last turkey pardoning speech.

  • "Thanksgiving is as much a family holiday as it is a national one, so for the past seven years, I've established another tradition: embarrassing my daughters with a corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."
  • "This year, they had a scheduling conflict. Actually, they just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."
  • "Malia and Sasha are thankful, by the way, that this is my final turkey pardon. What I haven't told them yet is that we are gonna do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."
  • "It's finally time to turn our attention from polls to poultry."
  • "I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky, who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. They met their fate with courage, sacrifice, and proved that they weren't chicken."
  • "Our graduation rate is at an all-time high, and our uninsured rate is at an all-time low, thanks to the millions of Americans, including children, who finally know the security of having health insurance. That's worth gobbling about."
  • "We should always make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Except for the turkeys, of course, because they're already stuffed."
  • "When someone at your table tells you that you've been hogging all the side dishes and that you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: yes we cran."
  • "I know there are some bad [jokes] in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving room for leftovers."
  • "Now, turkeys Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is, admittedly, a big hokey."
  • "Let's get on with the pardoning, because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a fowl mood."

We'll miss you, Obama.

From Our Partners
Barack Obama African Reading List July 2018
Barack Obama's Tweet on Anthony Bourdain's Death June 2018
Michelle Obama Wedding Dress
Barack and Michelle Obama 2018 Pictures
Best Barack Obama Pictures 2018
Barack and Michelle Obama Portrait Unveiling Event Pictures
Michelle Obama's Engagement Ring
Low-Carb Alcohol
Uber Scheduled Rides With Upfront Fares and No Surge Pricing
Dining Chairs on Amazon Review
Keto Dessert Recipes
Bush, Obama, and Clinton Golf Photos at 2017 Presidents Cup
From Our Partners
Latest Celebrity & Entertainment
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds