Everyone Needs to Read Tracee Ellis Ross's Definition of Self-Care

On her ABC sitcom Black-ish, Tracee Ellis Ross is married with five kids and has more school bake sales than any parent should have to keep up with, but in real life, her day-to-day is the exact opposite. As the cover star of InStyle's November 2018 issue, the actress opened up about being "happily single," regardless of what other people have to say about it.

"These are very big and very personal questions that aren't anyone's business but that somehow, like the right to choose, become fodder for public conversation," Tracee shared. "Some of the ability to reflect on what I really want comes from pushing up against a society that shames me for not having the expected trappings. I'm very pleased with my existence these days. Have I had to learn to make friends with loneliness? Yes. I think if I were in a relationship, it would be the same."

As someone who similarly thrives with a significant amount of "me time," I can relate to Tracee's mindset. How she spends her alone time absolutely differs from mine, however. For Tracee, it's tending to her lemon trees, playing dress-up in her closet, and redefining what self-care means to her. For me, it's the elliptical, the couch, and lots of snacks.

For decades, Tracee has wowed us with her timeless bikini body, her ability to know how to rock *just* the right amount of bright colors, and how to dance like no one's watching, but she's the first to admit that it takes hard work. "The 'I woke up like this' thing? Bullsh*t!" she said. "Black-ish is in HD, darling! There's no Vaseline on the lenses. At 18 I might have woken up like this. At 45 I f*cking work for it."

She added, "I love potato chips more than anything in the world, and so I work out hard. I put masks on my face. I take care of myself. And, by the way, to me self-care does not mean going to the spa. It's learning to say no. It's knowing yourself so you can make choices that are an expression of you. That's self-care." We're going to need that printed on a poster ASAP!