The Funniest Jokes From the Justin Bieber Roast You Should Definitely Steal

By Shannon Vestal Robson

Updated on 4/4/2015 at 11:00 PM

Comedy Central's "Roast of Justin Bieber" featured some harsh burns about its young subject (and some below-the-belt jokes about Selena Gomez), but it was also a night for a handful of seasoned comedians to whip out their stand-up, alongside a few stars who rocked some unexpectedly good zingers too. Some jokes were so good that you can totally steal them and retell them — you just have to change up the context a bit.

01

When you need to make fun of the music — Comedy Central

When you need to make fun of the music

02

When you need a timely joke about someone's appearance — Comedy Central

When you need a timely joke about someone's appearance

03

When you need a new "You're so old" burn — Comedy Central

When you need a new "You're so old" burn

04

When you need a joke about promiscuity — Comedy Central

When you need a joke about promiscuity

05

When you need a new punchline for "Time flies when . . . " — Comedy Central

When you need a new punchline for "Time flies when . . . "

06

When you need a fresh short-person joke — Comedy Central

When you need a fresh short-person joke

07

When you need to call out religious hypocrisy — Comedy Central

When you need to call out religious hypocrisy

08

When you want to make a not-too-edgy joke about Bill Cosby — Comedy Central

When you want to make a not-too-edgy joke about Bill Cosby

09

When you need a joke about a revealing outfit — Comedy Central

When you need a joke about a revealing outfit

10

When you need a joke about modern dating — Comedy Central

When you need a joke about modern dating