The Heartbreaking Reason 1 Mom Taught Her Adopted Daughters Trust Using Halloween Candy

When Amy Beth Gardner adopted her two daughters, Bridgett, 8, and Breonna, 12, in 2014, she knew that they'd have to make up for lost time. It didn't surprise her when she realized that not only did neither of her daughters get to celebrate Halloween, but the holiday was actually traumatic for them. The mother of two shared her daughters' experience in an emotional Facebook post:

I noticed that she and her nine year old sister froze in fear each time I mentioned the upcoming holiday. I finally asked the girls if they had ever experienced Halloween before coming to live with us and was horrified by their answer. They took turns telling me about how they had once been given candy for Halloween only to have an adult take the candy and eat it in front of them while making them watch. When the girls began to cry, the adult handed them the brown paper wrappers that had been holding the chocolate peanut butter cups and forced them to eat the empty wrappers — a cruel way to give the girls a literal taste of what they were missing out on that Halloween evening.

Unfortunately, even though both Bridgett and Breonna knew they were safe with their new family, old habits die hard. Amy Beth realized that getting her kids to trust adults again was going to require some serious elbow grease:

I knew that I needed to approach our first Halloween with them cautiously. My instincts were confirmed when I noticed that the girls were discreetly counting the pieces of candy they received as they walked from house to house in their adorable costumes. When we got home, I pulled out two plastic bags and a black marker and explained to the girls that I wanted them to count their pieces of candy as they put it into the bags. When they finished counting, I helped them label their bags with the precise number of pieces of candy inside and, each time they would eat a piece of candy, I helped them relabel their bags. For weeks after Halloween, despite our assurances that we would not eat their candy, the girls asked if they could recount the pieces before going to bed. I would sit and count their candy with them night after night, earning their trust one lollipop at a time.

Fast forward three years and both her kiddos are in a much different head space, so much so that her youngest daughter gave her a thoughtful gift: a bag of her Halloween candy. "She had wrapped the bag in a piece of paper and it was clear she was presenting it to me as a gift. As I pulled the piece of paper off the bag, I saw these words scrawled in her sweet third grade handwriting: 'Mom, I want to give you a taste of how much love I have for you by giving you my candy.'"

For Amy Beth, this was a huge turning point and a sign of the major progress they've made as a family. "This child, who was once forced to eat candy wrappers, went through her bag of Halloween candy to select pieces she thought I would enjoy and then gave them to me as a gift," she wrote. "She didn't choose her least favorite candies or only pick out one or two pieces to give. She filled a bag full of her very favorite pieces and gave them to me with so much earnest pride on her face that I could cry just typing these words."