This Is Why I Think Father-Daughter Dances Are, Well, a Tad Creepy

Proclamations of love (saying "I love you" a lot, hugging and kissing, Valentine's Day cards and decorations) aren't really problematic for me, but the way we try to jam-pack romance into places it does not belong does make me uneasy. Take daddy-daughter dances, for example. With their romantic undertones, they are one such tradition that I just can't wrap my head around.

I realize that many parents think of this as an opportunity for a daughter and father to spend some quality time together, away from other members of the family, and have fun. However, while I genuinely get that this might be the intent, in practice, it comes off as, well, a tad creepy.

For starters, the idea that often gets presented with these events is that a girl's first date should be her father. Besides the obvious parallels to purity balls, where a girl pledges her virginity to her father until she is ready to marry, a girl's first date can never be her dad since the romantic implications can never be present. If a father wants to spend time with his daughter, that's great, but why attach the term "date" to it? Just spend some time with her without trying to train your daughter for future dates with her assumed boyfriends or husbands.

How about father-son dances or mother-daughter dances, then? If it really is just about quality time with family, why not have these events as an option? I know my husband would have fun dancing with our son to some sweet tunes, but by isolating an event and presenting it as a date between a father and his daughter, this immediately becomes an example of a perceived heteronormative relationship wherein girls are cajoled into believing their worth is attached to who is taking them out.

I'm not implying that fathers who take their daughters to these dances are doing so with illicit intentions, but rather that they are participating in a patriarchal practice that isolates them. Spend quality time with your daughter throughout the year instead of trying to show them what romance and a relationship looks like through an antiquated practice.

Editor's Note: This piece was written by a POPSUGAR contributor and does not necessarily reflect the views of POPSUGAR Inc. Interested in joining our POPSUGAR Voices network of contributors from around the globe? Find more information here.