How to Have Good — No, Great — Sex After Giving Birth

Having sex after giving birth is something many women dread, especially after baby number one. We're tired, sore, and things aren't quite the same . . . down there. Plus, the idea of feeling sexy again seems impossible. Despite all this, we know that sex is an important part of this thing called marriage, it's just the getting our bodies and minds in-sync part that can be daunting. But with time, and a few little tips, you can get back to doing the act in no time — and enjoying the hell out of it again.

  1. Don't rush. Women should have sex with their partner when they feel ready. Bringing a tiny human into the world is life-changing for your mind, body, and spirit. Getting back in the sack may take longer than a woman may like, but trust your gut on this one. You don't want to do any harm to your baby-maker or your self-esteem. If you don't feel quite ready, then just wait. Your partner will understand.
  2. Relax and be positive. Turn the lights down low and do your best to relax. Easier said than done, I know. But trying to remain positive and calm is truly the best thing you can do.
  3. Communicate with your partner. My daughter was almost four months old before my husband and I had sex again. It was the elephant in the room until I finally blurted out, "We should probably have sex again, huh?" He laughed, and we began to have an open dialogue about how the first time would go. Your partner wants you to be comfortable to enjoy it, so communication is key.
  4. Drink the wine. If you need a little help in the relaxing department before having sex again (like me), then a little wine can't hurt. Two glasses helped me ease back into the sexiness of marriage. Just don't drink too much — being too frisky that first time around could backfire on your downstairs business.
  5. Have low standards for the first time. The first time will not be mind-blowing (and if it is, then consider yourself loathed by mothers everywhere). But the thing is, you have to have this very timid, awkward sex to get it to be good again. Sex is like everything else in life, practice makes perfect.
  6. Be confident in your body. Never, ever forget what the female body is capable of. If you can grow a human inside of you, you can certainly enjoy sex again. And even if you aren't feeling great about a few stretch marks or extra pounds, remember that you literally just pushed a human out of you. Give yourself and break and work that hot body of yours however you see fit.
  7. Remember, sex is supposed to be fun. Try to take the pressure off yourself. After the first couple of times back at it, have a little fun with your partner. Foreplay and sexy outfits? Go for it! Have fun with it and the perks will inevitably follow.
  8. Your partner's body isn't perfect, either. Yes, our bodies change after birth. It's unavoidable. But we're still sexy. And your partner has imperfections and things he or she is self-conscious about, too. No body is perfect.