Mom's Note About Breastfeeding Shows Just How Bittersweet the End Can Be

Nadine Muller is an Australian fitness blogger, but over the last 17 months, her sculpted gym selfies have been adorably juxtaposed with photos of her son, Madden. Since giving birth, she has filled her feed with honest photos about the realities of nursing and motherhood. Now, as her breastfeeding journey is coming to an end, Nadine is reflecting on the nursing relationship and how she and Madden "get to bond" in their favorite way.

Nadine took to Instagram to post a photo from the very first time she fed her son with a powerful message about the end of breastfeeding. "I savored every moment; I took in every detail, I dropped a couple of happy tears and he honestly looked at me like 'job well done Mummy,'" Nadine wrote, adding that she was incredibly sad about the closing of this chapter. "My heart is so full while at the same time it aches because I may never have this time with him again; it's beautiful, but it's scary."

She recently returned home after being away for four days, and those days away were when she realized how much she was going to miss this stage of motherhood. "For us it has been the most gratifying experience, one that I could never choose the right words to say," she wrote. "To say that both Madden and I have been infatuated with our BF journey together would be the understatement of the century."

But she didn't stop there. Nadine continued to talk about the indescribable bond between mother and child during nursing and how she really didn't think she would feel this way about the end. "To be completely honest and to put it into perspective, it's not like I'm some frequent crier," she wrote alongside a second photo. "I surprisingly didn't cry the day Madden was born, I didn't cry during any of his needles, I didn't cry the four nights I was away from him, BUT as soon as I thought our BF journey was over I cried like a little baby."

Although some babies struggle latching, Madden has always found solace in his mom's breast. During a very early morning screaming fit, Madden latched to Nadine and instantly, everything was better. "Just like that, his worries were completely over," she described. "It was an instant soothe just like it has always been, his racing heart slowed down, his breathing settled, his teeny body relaxed up against mine skin on skin, he was in heaven, and let's be bloody honest, so was I. Talk about an emotional ride, I cried again some more, but this time silent tears of pure elation and joy as I beautifully watched my son be soothed back to sleep by me and my breast."

Nadine closed her emotional note telling her readers that she is giving Madden the choice to try to wean away from nursing on his own because they are both not ready yet. "I'm overjoyed that we get to bond in our favorite way that bit longer," she concluded. "Each feed I cherish even more because I never know when it will be our last."