Well, any shred of dignity I had has been left in the Target bathroom. My first mistake was leaving home with my...Posted by Momstrosity on Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Eliza Morrill, a mom and writer at Momstrosity, recently experienced a little mishap in Target that she couldn't help but share. In a hilarious Facebook post, she detailed what happened when she realized she had her period while trying to get a little shopping done. With her twin sons in tow, Eliza made a mad dash to the restroom, and as you can imagine, she had a lot of explaining to do.
"Well, any shred of dignity I had has been left in the Target bathroom," she wrote. "My first mistake was leaving home with my 4-year-old twin boys. As a general rule, taking them anywhere in public doesn't end well. But, I'm a glutton for punishment. As we walk into the store, I realize that I need to use the restroom. I have no choice but to take them with me. The handicap stall is conveniently out of order, so I have to cram inside of a tiny stall with both of my children and my purse that could easily hold one of their younger siblings. I digress."
Squishing your kiddos into a public bathroom stall is stressful enough, right? Well throw getting your period into the mix, and yep, it really can get worse.
"At about this time, I realize that it is Shark Week. Aunt Flo has entered the building, whatever," said Eliza. "I try to distract my young cherubs so that they may not be so interested in what's happening inside the toilet bowl, when it happens: 'Child 1: MAMA!!!!! You have... BLEED ON YOU!!' and Child 2, horrified: 'BLEED IS COMIN' OUT OF YOUR BOOTY!!!!!!!!!' I am begging them to be quiet. 'Are we the only ones in here?' I silently pray."
"I look down to [find] Child 2, sticking his head out of the stall to tell another bathroom patron that his mom is, 'bleedin' really bad outta her booty."
Unfortunately for Eliza, she had an audience. "A muffled guffaw from the next stall over tells me that we are not." Naturally, her two boys continue to ask if she was OK, saying things like, 'Mom. Are you okay?!? This is so bad. This is so so bad. You need a Band-Aid!' and 'We need to call the 911!!'" To add insult to injury, Eliza was 100 percent sure she didn't have any of the feminine hygiene products she so desperately needed. "I was frantically checking my purse for the tampon that I know is not there, while also trying to cover their mouths: Mommy is totally fine. This is very normal for mommies and women. It looks scary but it is OK."
Still, her kids were worried, and reassured her that it was OK to cry. "At this point, I hear the door open and several people walk in. Her kids didn't seem to mind the intrusion, asking her, "Do you have a cut??? On your booty??" and, "On your bee-jina!?" It was at this moment Eliza knew she needed an "escape plan," and fast.
"I look down to [find] Child 2, sticking his head out of the stall to tell another bathroom patron that his mom is, 'bleedin' really bad outta her booty," she wrote. "In this moment, I want to die. I scoot them out of the stall to find a precious, older woman at the sink, tears of laughter streaming down her face. As you may have guessed, I did not make it home with laundry detergent and baby socks today. And also not my dignity."