Make Your Little Sweethearts Laugh With These 20 Valentine's Day Jokes For Kids

By Sara Ahmed
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Unsplash | Anna Kolosyuk
Unsplash | Anna Kolosyuk

Valentine's Day doesn't have to just mean candy and cards for children. While, yes, those things are definitely important (all the chocolate!), getting a good laugh out of your kids can be the ultimate sweet treat for both of you. Sprucing up the Valentine's Day humor in your house with these adorable jokes is a great way to foster the little comedians in your family while at the same time, teaching them about puns and idioms. Crack a few of these jokes and help your kids memorize their favorite ones to share with teachers and friends!

  1. "Are you a triangle?" Answer: "Cause you sure are acute!"
  2. "What did pilgrims give each other on Valentine's Day?" Answer: "Mayflowers"
  3. "Why do Valentines have hearts on them?" Answer: "Because brains would be pretty gross!"
  4. "What did the ghost say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?" Answer: "Be my Valen-slime!"
  5. "What did the paper clip say to the magnet?" Answer: "I find you very attractive."
  6. "What did the Valentine's card say to the stamp?" Answer: "Stick with me and you'll go places."
  7. "What did one pickle say to the other?" Answer: "You mean a great dill to me!"
  8. "What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine's Day?" Answer: "You can count on me."
  9. "What did one drum say to the other on Valentine's Day?" Answer: "My heart beats for you."
  10. "Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?" Answer: "Because it's got heart."
  11. "What do you call a very small Valentine?" Answer: "A valen-tiny."
  12. "What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?" Answer: "Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?"
  13. "What did one volcano say to the other?" Answer: "I lava you."
  14. "What kind of flower do you never give on Valentines Day?" Answer: "Cauliflower."
  15. "Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?" Answer: "Sure, they're very scent-imental!"
  16. "What did the snake say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?" Answer: "Give me a little hiss."
  17. "How does cupid visit his girlfriend?" Answer: "On an arrow-plane!"
  18. "What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?" Answer: "Rugs and kisses."
  19. "Why did the man send his wife a tweet on Valentine's Day?" Answer: "Because she is his tweetheart!"
  20. "Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?" Answer: "She stole his heart."