Costco Is Selling a 5-Tier Wedding "Cake" Made of Cheese Wheels, So Consider Me Engaged

The next wedding on my radar isn't until November, but I'm really hoping I receive another invitation soon and that this five-tier literal cheese cake is on the menu. This thing of beauty from Costco is called the Sid Wainer & Son Cheese Lover Artisan Wedding Cake ($440), and it will make you forget any combination of vanilla cake and buttercream frosting ever existed.

You can actually order this "cake" online from Costco, and it ships within two to three days; yes, shipping is included in that steep price tag. The gourmet cheeses include a Red Leicester (similar to an English cheddar), a Danish Blue (subtle and tangy), and a Murcia al Vino (a "drunken goat cheese"), all from Sid Wainer & Son, which has quite the impressive cheese selection. All in all, it's 24 freaking pounds of cheese, and it serves between 105 and 150 people.

To transform the cheese wheels into a wedding-worthy treat, you just stack them with the largest wheel on the bottom, and go to town with the decorations of your choice. Flowers, ribbons, and other wedding decor accessories are not included. Better yet, why bother waiting for a wedding? Invite yourself (and and everyone you care about) to a cheese-and-wine party of your own.